Have You Ever Felt Guilty For Procrastinating?

Procrastination to some can be a minor problem; with others it is a source of considerable stress and anxiety.

Low Self-Confidence - Some may struggle with feelings of low self-confidence / low self-esteem, and insist upon a high level of performance (perfectionism) making the task more difficult than necessary.

Instant gratification. Reading, checking email or Facebook is easier than doing that project you’ve been putting off. Eating out or convenience foods are more appealing than planning a menu and cooking from whole food recipes. Watching TV as opposed to cleaning the house is certainly more enjoyable.

Fear or Dread. We might not write that chapter in our book because we are trying to come up with the perfect title, or we don't have all the dots connected on publishing it or putting the chapters in correct order. We are afraid of the unknown, which has more power because it just lurks in the back of our minds making us dread tasks and making them more difficult than necessary.

Avoiding negative consequences. There are no immediate negative consequences to watching TV, using the internet, playing games, or doing other procrastination tasks. We will pay for it later, but right now, we feel in control.
Overestimating how we will manage our time. We may have a list of things we plan to accomplish in the future because we believe we will be more productive and focused when we are rested, have someone else to help, are not as stressed, etc.. The reality can be worse than expected because we are assuming that even though we follow the same processes, we will experience different results.

4 Steps to Managing Procrastination

1 ~ Stop and think. When we allow certain thoughts to take up residence in our minds without really being conscious of them, we procrastinate. Instant gratification via goofing off or eating comfort foods can lead to future problems. Fears are only assumptions that immobilize us if we bow to them. Not having negative consequences now doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences later.

2 ~ Review the process.  Usually we dread something before we actually are fully engaged in it. If we are willing to really consider how well it will work for us, we can learn to enjoy it and eliminate our dread of doing it.  If you want to take a walk, avoid thinking too much on it -- just do it and enjoy the simplicity of the action. This process can be done with anything, from washing dishes to writing or sweeping the porch. Enjoy yourself in the moment and the activity can be very pleasant and even fun. If you can change your perspective you won't have the inclination to put it off.

3 ~ Find a partner in accountability. If no one is looking over our shoulder, we may cut ourselves more slack than we should. Find people to hold you accountable.  Ideally, involving a friend who has the same desire to overcome something could be inspiring and helpful for both.

4 ~ Focus on the benefits you will receive. Think about how much you will enjoy the new color in your bathroom when the painting is all done. Consider how nice it will be to enter the holiday season having lost the 10 pounds -- it may be all the motivation you need to eat in moderation. Find what can work and it helps you eliminate what doesn't.  Focus on what excited you about the project originally and hold that thought.

Characteristics for Determining if Procrastination is a Problem 

Stubbornness - Procrastination may be used as an expression of stubbornness or pride. The person may feel he is able to eliminate his perceived control by others who he may think are trying to dictate his life. If we are unhappy or have unresolved issues with someone, we may withhold our best efforts in a project.

Manipulation - Procrastination may be used to control / manipulate others or it may be an effort to appear in control.  Deliberately delaying a project can drive others crazy.

Coping with Pressures - Overcoming procrastination may be difficult because it may have become the choice method of coping with day-to-day pressures. This may provide a false sense of being in control when actually the opposite is true.

Benefits to Overcoming Procrastination
~ Peace of mind, a feeling of strength and purpose.
~ Healthy feeling of being in charge of your life.
~ Eliminates feeling weak, useless, and helpless.
~ Taking charge of your life helps you feel strong, competent, and capable.
~ Active participation tends to give you a positive attitude toward the activity.
~ You actually gain true, personal freedom.

It is possible to overcome procrastination and it's negative impact on you. Take time to savor even the smallest of victories, so you will remember how good it feels. This will help the next time you need encouragement.
Sheri Geyer is a Personal Coach Empowering Women to Do Life-by-Design!

Have You Ever Felt As If Your Life is Being Squeezed into a One-Size-Fits-All Package?

At some point, you may have discovered that one-size-fits-all life is not really the fit you were looking for.

What would it take for you to lay out a life plan, perhaps create a budget, or a goal to get healthier and eliminate stress? Or do you shy away from any thought of doing life-by-design, as opposed to ‘by default' because it seems you would be surrendering your rights to a real life. 

Interesting Note: Consider the Tortoise and the Hare. The tortoise won the race because he stayed the course, remained focused, and he never, never, never gave up. He mapped a plan, put one foot in front of the other, and continued to do the same thing until he got where he wanted, and not only that ~ he was the first one there.

The race is not always to the swift, but to the diligent. The one who works and plays smart. You may not have all of the options that someone else may have, but by taking what you have and gaining the necessary skills you need to develop the areas that can serve you well, it is only a matter of time until you win. 

Money, education, affiliation or any other privilege can never beat out what pure tenacity and endurance will provide to succeed in the game of life. The only way you win is to find every creative way possible to eliminate your temptation to quit. It worked for the tortoise!

What ideas are swimming around in your mind that by putting to paper you could craft something opens you up to greater possibilities toward creating the life you want?

I'm not specifically talking about money here. Having more money doesn't mean less problems. In fact to the one whom much is given, much will be required. If money was the be all, end all, explain Hollywood to me.  

No, it's much more. It's not about having what you want. It's about learning to want what you have. It's maximizing your potential by embracing the design God has for your life and, in turn, discovering that your life is as You-Nique as You are!

You are able to do life-by-design by developing intentionality around what is of the most value to you. It requires a plan - so you know where you are headed and have more than a rear view mirror to look at where you've been.

Realizing where you've been is a great guide in aligning you for where you are going and how you will get there. It is a major step in eliminating things in your life that no longer fit you and where you are headed. 

You create your tomorrows by what you dream ~ today!  You have unbelievable potential within. It's in your thoughts. Your positive thoughts based on an understanding of God’s design for your life are beneficial for all you ever hope to achieve and accomplish.

How are you managing these thoughts? Are you content to simply think about what tomorrow can look like? What would it look like to spend some quiet, focused time to consider what your future could be and the One who holds it?

To tap into your internal hopes and desires, consider journaling. It is a very valuable tool that provides inspiring insights about how to plant good seeds and prune unnecessary areas in your life to so you can create a life you won’t need to escape from. 

If you took a road trip from Atlanta to Seattle, you wouldn't consider not having a map or gps to chart your route, as well as a plan for the things you would like to see.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Pack your tortoise shell well; you'll need it to stay the course. Forget about how the hare is doing life. 

You need to concentrate on one thought ~ “I think I can, I think I can!”
Sheri Geyer is a Personal Coach Empowering Women to Do Life-by-Design!

Do You Desire to Ramp Up Relationships…. From Rocky to Rocking?

Relationships are our most important lifeblood to finding a balance in life that makes it worthwhile. It is imperative that we map out a simple, yet effective way of connecting the dots so that we can enjoy, encourage and resolve the issues that concern them. Here are several simple steps that can point us to a path for peace and growth in the valued relationships in our lives.
 
Significant relationships in life are not simply geared for personal happiness.  They are not about getting all of our needs met through another person. It's a game of 80/20. If 80% of our connection is good, we can negotiate the other 20%. It is not about finding the perfect person to be a friend, mentor, spouse, neighbor etc., it is more about learning through growing about becoming the best we can be.
 
Developing patience, understanding, and forgiveness are the fundamentals of sustaining relationships. Strengthening our walk with God and growing in His grace and love helps us to have the tools we need to love others as He has loved us.
 
It’s okay to have a rookie season in the areas of growing in the relationships that hold the most importance in life. However, we want that to be the exception, not the rule. We can learn much through the occasional breakdown in relationships. It is important that we work through until we resolve our issues. It usually takes a "breakdown" (working through life as we know it) to get a "breakthrough" (the new normal where both parties share their insights). This is the recipe for lasting relationships, ones that go the distance.
 
Read, study, ask questions about building lasting relationships at home, work, in business and in organizations where you serve. As a coach, I often meet women seeking encouragement on growing the important relationships in their lives. The foundational issue is trust. Regardless of the area of relationship you are trying to build in your life, trust takes time, commitment and consistency. We offer value, build relational capital, and in time, trust is developed. We build loyalty and that is what builds emotional and relational security.
 
How you will be remembered has less to do with how much money you make or how much you accomplish and more with how you have loved and lived.
Sheri Geyer is a Personal Coach Empowering Women to Do Life-by-Design!

What is Hindering You from Enjoying God’s Best?

For my life, one of the biggest hindrances is a sense of guilt over things that I perceive other people "think" I need to be doing. 

I am learning that the guilt isn't necessarily something I am doing wrong -- many times it is the enemy trying to distract me from what I am doing right! He would rather me be so hung up on woulda-coulda-shoulda that I am hindered from doing what God is leading me to do and going where God is leading me to go. If he can keep us beating ourselves up, he achieves his goal of hindering us from being effective and impactful for the purposes God has for us.

I am having to be reminded that the Holy Spirit leads but the devil drives! (Guilt is often the thing he uses to drive). A good way to understand the difference between the two is that the conviction of the Holy Spirit comes before or during the time that we are doing something or not doing something, that God wants us to embrace or relinquish. Guilt comes after we've taken the jump or as a driving force to move us to jump where God hasn't led us.

I want to sign on for all the opportunities that will let me do what I love... coach, write, speak, coordinate, e.g... I am awesome at sign on but I lack the daily, steady persistence that is required to get the project completed in a timely manner. I am having to be reminded that I need to keep up with some of the important structure and routine that energizes me, such as my morning quiet time, making a list to target what I need to complete ... today! 

I need to cease from the proverbial biting off more that I can chew. Sometimes I get so sidetracked trying to knock out as many of the little daily tasks, that I am hindered from making any headway on my long term projects and the ones that ultimately are part of the path to my personal success and fulfillment.

A final challenge for me is to remember that the enemy most wants to discourage me and my efforts by either deceiving me or at the very least, distracting me from my worthwhile pursuits.

One of the greatest ways for me to not succumb to his intrusions in my day is to constantly focus on the plans that God has put within my spirit. I need to consistently renew my mind by reading uplifting messages from His Word, as well as from other writers who encourage me in my journey as well as surround myself with people who refresh me and challenge me to not settle for accepting life as black and white but allowing my days and my experiences to truly color my world. 
What one thing can you do today that can ignite or re-ignite the candle of passion that burns within? 

Take some time to reflect on what you have to offer the people in your sphere of influence, and don't withhold the gift that you have to bring to the table.

Your voice and your message may be the missing piece(s) in someone else's life that will make all the difference!




Sheri Geyer is a Personal Coach Empowering Women to Do Life-by-Design!
 
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