Do You Struggle with Feelings of Low Self-Esteem?

I have amazing conversations with some really awesome people that have lived lives with a lot of cool happenings.

One of the things that seems to be present in most every deep conversation that I have with anyone from various walks of life is the desire for a feeling of "worthiness" or "appreciation" or "validation". I hear successful, seasoned, articulate, people, appearing almost child-like, expressing a single hope ... to feel that they are valued by someone or some organization or team that they hold in high regard. In essence, they echo a very strong desire in many of us ... how do I build my self-esteem?

The thing I am beginning to see is that contrary to our first initial response to this idea in our minds, self-esteem does not come from someone else to us. Self-esteem comes from the inside out. Self-esteem in it's most simplest definition is ... doing the next basic right thing ... even if we do not 'feel' like it. 

You may be thinking, that sounds pretty simple. The concept is simple, the training and reprogramming of our minds to receive or act on this revelation is limited only by one thing ... our rejection of the idea that building our self-esteem is dependent solely on the choices we make. We have, for far too long, marinated on the idea that we need the approval and acceptance of others to feel whole.

So, here's the good news and the bad news ... YOU are in the driver's seat of your feelings of self-worth.
Whether we feel competent or able to build personal self-esteem, we can do it. Move confidently in the knowledge that YOU are a unique and gifted individual. Each of us are created in God's image and according to His design. What we do with what He has given us to work with is best determined by surrendering all of the hopeless feelings that come from depending on anyone else, but God, to make us feel a particular way ... um better.

When having a down day ... instead of sitting around feeling down about all the things that cannot be changed, do the next basic right thing in your world ... consider the things that can be changed.

Wash the car, walk the dog, clean the closet, pray, reach out to encourage someone else that is going through something that is obviously more difficult that the "down" day you are experiencing. When you get up, show up and do the next basic right thing, you will be completely amazed at how it transforms the feelings of unworthiness or hopelessness into positive thoughts and feelings.

God has put within each of us, a tiny little voice that whispers, "this is the way to go or the thing to do...go on and step out there and make a move". Our feelings may appear to be insurmountable walls, but they are, in reality, nothing more than perceived blockades that keep us from what we truly long for.

No other person can build us. God has already designed us and has great purpose for us. The greatest enemy we have at times is ... passivity. Passivity, being the inability to 'push against' the inhibiting thoughts and feelings that limit us.

For each of us, there is a sweet spot of daily living and it is the same rhythm that leads us to maturity. It is simply choosing to do the right thing, regardless of how we feel about it. What we think or focus on will impact what we believe. What we believe is what we will do and how we will live.

So, the question becomes, What are you able to do in this situation? 

Relinquish what you cannot change, how people respond and react to you, and meet the challenges to break through the things where you can impact and make a difference.

And, by all means, e l i m i n a t e - every excuse for not doing all that you are able to do ... to create in your own mind, the YOU that God sees!

PS. If you have enjoyed this post, please share with other fabulous women who are really to do Life-by-God's-Design!
Sheri Geyer is a Personal Coach Empowering Women to Do Life-by-Design!

Have You Underestimated the Day of Small Things?

If you have ever felt like a charter member of the Start Big - Finish Small, if at All Club, you may feel overwhelmed when you set targets that seem difficult to reach. Regardless of the level of effort - you have options. The breakthrough you need could be to consider thinking small to help you transform your life.

Taking On More Than You Can Manage

“Think big!” may be the war cry of pioneer business visionaries but, it could be the thing that rocks the boat over in the case of the average Joe.   On countless occasions, I’ve been full of ideas that I’d finally be able to establish a brand new plan or goal and I'd jump out of bed with gusto. But like starting a race without breakfast, I would soon realize the problem was that I would typically bite off more than I could chew and expect quick success and no hitches.  Often, the pain of disappointment left me feeling too burned out to follow through.

Break It Down to Bite-Sized Pieces

My stumbling blocks from where I am to were I want to be seem daunting when I look at the size of the task and how long it may take to get there. I make every effort to choose my "best" options instead of doing more thinking that equates to doing better. By focusing more on the here and now, and not so much or so far in the future, I am able to find a steady pace that works. My take on the tortoise, who may be slower, but wins every time!

Whatever we hope to gain in our endeavors, before we can achieve something in life, we need to decide precisely what it is we want. Be specific in defining what it is you want to achieve.  Knowing what you are looking for makes it easier to find. Work to understand the ‘why’ for whatever you desire to achieve. Goals are often more "real" if they are written. Decide what is a reasonable length of time, and be realistic and measurable so you will have a target at which to aim. I’ve heard it stated, “If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time!”

Here are a few tips to help you do this:
  • Determine the steps involved. Brainstorm your options. These are the stepping stones towards achieving your end result. 
  • Simplify the action plan. Think of the steps as actions. When you understand what actions are needed to achieve your desired result, you can pull these together into a plan.
  • Establish daily and weekly tasks. When you create your action plan, work out a series of targets that you believe are possible to reach on the way to your goal. Keep it simple with many small victories to keep the momentum.
  • Keep on track. The small-scale approach is flexible and allows for instant changes. On a weekly basis, ask yourself what happened and whether you could do anything differently. Keep on tweaking and completing the simple tasks to have the end result well within your grasp.
  • Don't focus on long-term. Focus on your daily actions plans and not so much on the end date. Don't dwell on what’s to come in the future. Like the tortoise, concentrate on one small step and repeat consistently.
  • Resist the desire to biggie-size. We often want results fast and are impatient when it comes to delaying gratification. Though you may be tempted, avoid trying to rush things and biting off more than you can chew.  Refer to the reasons why you want the desired goal. Concentrate on where you are in the journey, and not on what’s next. Reflect on how far you’ve come and what a waste it would be to throw in the towel now.
In order for us to grow, we need to allow ourselves to be stretched at times. In most endeavors, if we don't grow, our plans and goals won't either. Long-lasting lifestyle change requires an investment of our time and effort, as well as some patience.

The road to achieving great things is much less intimidating when you break down the end result into smaller steps. And absolutely nothing can compare to how you will feel when you finally make it to the place you wanted to be.

~ Sheri xo

If you have enjoyed this post, please share with other fabulous women who are ready to create a Life-by-Design! 
Sheri Geyer is a Personal Coach Empowering Women to Do Life-by-Design!