Updates from Roslyn Tyler

There are times in life when the people who are supposed to be closest to us—family, longtime friends, even a spouse—can feel so far away. We hope they will understand us, show up for us, and love us the way we need, but instead we’re met with silence, indifference, or actions that seem to disregard our feelings. It hurts deeply, and if we’re not careful, that hurt can settle into our hearts as resentment. There’s a unique ache when family or loved ones can’t show up for you the way you expect. Maybe they were never taught how to express love, maybe their own pain keeps them distant, or maybe they are loving you the best way they know how—but it still doesn’t meet the need you feel. For a long time, I believed that if someone truly cared for me, they would automatically know how to show it. But expectations often set us up for disappointment, and disappointment can harden the heart if it’s not surrendered to God. Over time, I’ve had to learn, often the hard way, that I can’t control how others love me or respond to me, but I can control how I choose to respond to them—and my response matters to God. The truth is, my identity and worth can’t rest on someone else’s ability to love me well. Psalm 27:10 says, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me,” and that verse reminds me that my Heavenly Father loves me perfectly, without condition or limit.

I also have to be honest—there were seasons in my life when I didn’t just feel hurt, I wanted to hurt back. Not in a physical way, but in my thoughts, words, and actions. If someone wounded me, I would think of things I could say or do that I believed would cause them disappointment or pain. At the time, it felt like justice, but in reality, it wasn’t justice at all—it was me playing right into the hands of the enemy. The Lord calls us to something better. Romans 12:19 tells us, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends… It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.” When I stepped back and looked honestly at what I was doing, I realized that my attempts to hurt them were really hurting me even more. Bitterness doesn’t heal wounds; it deepens them. And even if the other person felt a sting, I was the one walking around with the weight of anger, keeping the wound open instead of letting God heal it.

Just because someone doesn’t show up for me the way I want—even disregarding my feelings at times—does not give me the right to hold a grudge, repay hurt with hurt, or stop being kind. God’s Word calls me to a higher way: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21). “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you” (Luke 6:27). “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). Forgiveness doesn’t mean saying what they did was okay; it means releasing them from the debt I feel they owe me and trusting God to handle the rest.

When I stopped focusing on who wasn’t there for me and began to notice who was, my heart began to shift. Sometimes it’s the friend who sends a quick “thinking of you” text, the church sister who prays for you without being asked, or the neighbor who always waves when you pass by. These people are gifts from God—reminders that He has not forgotten you. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity,” and Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 reminds us that “two are better than one… if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” God often uses unexpected people to fill the gaps left by others, showing His love in ways we might have overlooked.

Through it all, I’ve learned that no matter who comes and goes in my life, one thing remains unshakable—God is always near. Hebrews 13:5 promises, “I will never leave you nor forsake you,” and Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” His love fills every gap, His presence brings peace, and His faithfulness steadies my heart when human relationships fall short.

Prayer: Father, thank You for the people You’ve placed in my life. Help me to forgive those who couldn’t be who I wanted or needed them to be. Protect my heart from bitterness and teach me to respond with love, even when I’ve been hurt. Thank You for surrounding me with people who love me—whether they hold a title in my life or not. Keep me from seeking revenge, and remind me that vengeance belongs to You alone. Above all, thank You for being the One who never leaves, never fails, and never stops loving me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Loving the hard to love can be a profound lesson in grace—a truth that resonates when facing moments of hurtful words or actions. It's in these times that one is reminded of their own moments of being hard to love, yet still pursued and loved unconditionally by God. Romans 5:8 encapsulates this idea perfectly: God loved us at our most unlovable, not because we earned it, but because that is His nature.

Seeing others through God's eyes, especially those who are difficult, represents a reflection of His unwavering patience and desire for everyone's redemption. While it may be challenging to extend love to those who gossip or retaliate in pain, the realization that one's own hardest moments were met with divine love compels us to mirror this grace. As 2 Peter 3:9 illustrates, God's patience and desire for all to find repentance emphasize the inclusivity of His love, even for those we struggle with.

Praying for those who have caused hurt transforms our perspective, guiding us to forgive and love, akin to how Jesus asked for forgiveness for His persecutors. Engaging in genuine prayer for the well-being and heart of someone difficult to love facilitates this transformation. This understanding underscores that real, Christ-centered love is a choice—a choice that reflects Jesus' example and has the power to soften even the hardest hearts, reminding us that love, indeed, changes everything.

In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to get lost in the hustle, losing touch with the pure joy of intimacy with the Lord. Reflecting on those early, cherished moments of spiritual connection, there's a longing to simply be in God's presence—beyond routines and obligations. Life's busyness often redirects focus from being with God to doing for God, leading to a yearning for that once-vibrant relationship to be restored.

Rediscovering this deep connection isn't a solo journey; it's about relying on God's unwavering love to guide us back. It's His love that penetrates through the fog of distractions, rekindling the joy of sitting at His feet, unchanged by time or circumstance. As we enter a new season, the call is to prioritize this sacred relationship, not out of duty but out of delight.

Let this year be marked by renewed spiritual intimacy, where time with the Lord reflects a sincere longing for His presence. Whether for those rekindling this connection or discovering it anew, the goal is simple: to encounter God in a transformative way. Through laughter, tears, and stillness, may we remember the beauty of being with Him, letting His love be the center of our existence.

The other day, as I sat quietly with the Lord, I had a vision of a banana. I had been praying for healing and transformation, and in this vision, I saw the simplicity of peeling back a banana. Just one layer removed, and you uncover the sweet goodness inside.

But the Lord gently showed me something deeper. He said, “You are not a banana; you are more like an onion.” Unlike a banana, an onion has many layers, each wrapped in a thin, protective film. And as I reflected on this, I realized how deeply this image illustrates the work God does in our lives.

When God transforms us, He doesn’t do it all at once. Instead, He peels us back layer by layer. Each layer represents a part of our lives—habits, hurts, mindsets, and fears—that needs to be surrendered and refined. And with each layer He removes, He provides a fresh covering for where we are in the process. It’s a beautiful testament to His grace. God knows that if He were to strip everything away all at once, it would be too much for us to bear.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time.” – Ecclesiastes 3:11

As He peels back the layers, He invites us into a deeper relationship with Him. Sisters, I know the longing to be fully transformed for God’s glory. We want to reach that place of perfection and wholeness in a single moment. But God, in His love and gentleness, takes His time with us. He knows exactly what we need at every step.

“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 1:6

When we rush the process, striving to get to the next level or to rid ourselves of struggles, we can grow frustrated. But God calls us to trust the process. Trust that where you are right now is exactly where He wants you to be. Even in your brokenness, He sees you as beautiful. Even when you feel imperfect, He delights in you. You are useful to Him in every season, not just when you feel complete.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9

One of the greatest challenges in our walk with God is the temptation to compare ourselves to others. We see someone else’s journey and wonder why ours looks so different. But God reminds us that we are each uniquely made. While we are all created in His image, our callings, giftings, and processes are distinct.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” – Ephesians 2:10

Even if your gifts are similar to someone else’s, the way you are meant to operate in them will always be unique. God has a specific plan for your life that requires a transformation process tailored just for you. That’s why it’s important to trust His timing and His methods.

“There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord.” – 1 Corinthians 12:4-5

When we let go of comparison and embrace our own process, we find rest in God’s love. He didn’t create us to strive endlessly for perfection. He created us to be loved and to love. Even in our imperfections, His love for us remains steadfast.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” – 1 John 3:1

So, as you walk through your journey, take a deep breath and remember: God is with you. He’s peeling back the layers gently, purposefully, and lovingly. He’s preparing you for the unique purpose He has for your life.

“You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” – Psalm 139:14

Heavenly Father,
 Thank You for Your love and patience as You work in us. Help us to trust Your process, even when it feels slow or painful. Remind us that Your timing is perfect and that You see the bigger picture of our lives. Give us the grace to embrace where we are in this season, and help us to rest in the truth that even in our brokenness, we are still loved and useful to You. We surrender to Your gentle hands, knowing that You are making us into the masterpiece You created us to be. Amen.

 

The blog post reflects on the profound meaning of Christmas, emphasizing the birth of Jesus Christ as a testament to the gift of forgiveness. It underscores how Christ's coming signifies hope, grace, and redemption, and calls each of us to extend forgiveness mirroring His sacrifice. The narrative draws on a personal encounter with an individual battling unforgiveness, illustrating the burdens carried when we hold onto resentment and the healing that can come through forgiveness.

The article further delves into the spiritual significance of forgiving others, citing biblical passages that reinforce the necessity of forgiveness in living a Christ-centered life. It explains that forgiveness liberates us from the shackles of bitterness and aligns us with the heart of God. The teachings of scriptures such as Romans 5:8 and Matthew 6:14-15 are referenced to underscore the unparalleled love and forgiveness Christ offers, urging readers to emulate these virtues in their own lives.

During the joyous celebration of Christ’s birth, the blog encourages a period of reflection and action, offering practical steps to embrace forgiveness. It highlights prayer, meditation on Christ’s example, vocal declarations of forgiveness, and self-grace as critical paths to releasing the pain of the past. Ultimately, it calls on readers to see Christmas as an opportunity for healing and restoration, resulting in the freedom and peace only Jesus can provide.