How many lawyers enjoy legal fiction?
I do not usually enjoy legal fiction. They are often too unrealistic based on the realities I know as a practitioner. But I love John Grisham! His storytelling is always captivating. My husband and I are currently reading one of his latest works, The Widow. His rendition of the main character's life is so realistic, I just wanted to share a few thoughts about it.
We meet Simon Latch, a small town lawyer whose life is a routine wreck. His legal practice is not quite his dream come true. And now, he and his wife faces the excruciating task of explaining the harsh reality of their relationship to their children.
Of course, I can't help but analyze this plot as a family coach and mediator. But the picture Grisham paints of this character, his work, and his habits is so realistic it is definitely worth a read or listen for my fellow book lovers.
Here are three conflict resolutions takeaways from this book:
1) Conflict Avoidance is Expensive. Unresolved conflict is like driving on bad breaks or with a flat tire. The longer you go without repairing the issue, the more expensive over time.
2) Internal Conflict is a Liability. The things you refuse to notice about yourself will absolutely reduce your relational net worth.
3) Investing Effort Yields Gains. Marriage is like a retirement account. Small, consistent investments over time grows exponentially with compound interest. Consistent withdrawals, lack of management, and wishful thinking leaves you looking stupid in your sunset season.
Although some elements of the estate planning practice are not exactly realistic, that's a small price to pay for the family law takeaways.
Have you read this book? I'd love to know what other lawyers--especially solo practitioners--think of this book.
Be blessed and encouraged,
Judge Char
What is a bully made of? Did the childhood bullies suddenly grow up when they reached adulthood? Or are they newly manifested as aggressive attorneys, demeaning supervisors, or even as cold and disengaged physicians?
I randomly mentioned being beaten with an extension cord when I was thirteen years old. My husband interjected, “You were hit with an extension cord?”
“Yes,” I replied, “That would leave bruising for a few days.”
“That was child abuse,” he remarked.
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Does it feel like remaining married is like a prison sentence? But the only reason you stay is because you fear spending 6-figures or more to legally exit? Or are you so emotionally spent from being unhappy, you fantasize daily about your prison break, even if it costs your kids’ inheritance?
The reality is that it is easier for lawyers to file lawsuits and charge you for the fallout. The reason why I changed my practice model, however, is because my heart broke for the future expense borne by the children.
And it doesn’t make a difference if you wait until they graduate high school.
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Are you a busy working mom who feels like you are sacrificing yourself for your children, job and marriage? Do you find yourself entering sleep from a place of being spent—totally exhausted with nothing left to offer anyone? Are you infuriated when your husband approaches you for sex, oblivious that your only desire is for rest?
I have met many women in this season of life. And do you know what I discovered they had in common 9 out of 10 times?
The did not have LIFE community.
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Are you tapped out on love? You’ve tried everything…
Therapy…
Couple’s counseling…
Church intervention…
And no matter how much you pray, cry, and try, you are left feeling tapped out and disappointed with your marriage?
What if I told you that you have been playing the game all wrong? And that your contentment and joy are within reach if only you would run the right plays?
You see, love is a game. Not in the way that there is a winner or a loser. To the contrary, most marriages flounder when a husband and wife lose sight of the fact that they are on the same team. The field goal is unity. The end zone is “till death do us part.” But today, too many beautiful and loving couples are losing the game to divorce because they simply don’t know the rules to the game. In this post, I am sharing one of three simple ways to run better plays as you master the game of love.
