Have you ever found yourself trying to control something that is beyond your ability? Found yourself battling thoughts of jealousy or comparison? If so, you know that these types of things can steal your joy. Here are 9 COMMON JOY-STEALERS common joy-stealers that clients often share about in one way or another in the therapy room and tips for how to stop them from running the show.
1. Comparison
Comparing yourself to others, whether in terms of looks, parenting, finances, or anything else, sets you up to feel inferior. The problem is, there's no end to comparisons. Remember, God has marked out a unique path for you. Embracing your own gifts and circumstances, rather than measuring up, can break this cycle.
2. Lies We Tell Ourselves
Self-deceiving language often starts with "should." Avoid sentences like "I should be grateful" or "I shouldn’t feel upset." Acknowledging your true feelings is essential for healing. Skipping genuine emotions with platitudes prevents authentic healing. Start from a place of truth for genuine recovery.
3. Judgment
Self-judgment and judging others not only steal your joy but also entrench shame and fear. Discernment offers clarity, while judgment divides us from ourselves and others. Instead of labeling, focus on understanding behaviors for what they are without unnecessary tags.
4. Fear of What Others Think
The fear of others' opinions often hinges on assumptions. Even if someone holds a negative opinion of you, it doesn't define your truth. Stay aligned with your values and maintain confidence in your worth, which isn't up for debate.
5. Self-Criticism
Self-talk matters. Encouraging yourself rather than resorting to criticism, like calling oneself lazy for needing rest, fosters better growth. Honor your body's cues and needs, and speak to yourself with the kindness and compassion God offers.
6. Unrealistic Expectations
Holding onto ideals like "family should always get along" or "holidays must be magical" leads to disappointment. Face and accept reality with hope and faith, understanding that prayer and honesty about the current situation bring true peace.
7. Unresolved Trauma
Consistent triggering and survival mode are signs of unresolved trauma, not spiritual failure. Therapy can lead to healing, providing space to honor your mind and body's needs.
8. Overcommitting
While there are only 168 hours in a week, overfilling this time with tasks leaves no room for joy. Balance is key; prioritize wisely and remember that saying no to new commitments can be a wise choice, not a selfish one.
9. Taking Unnecessary Responsibility
You are not accountable for managing others' emotions or actions. Compassion doesn't mean bearing the weight of others' issues. Own your life, set boundaries, and focus on stewarding your peace and joy.
Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit and a conscious choice to defend. Prayer, journaling, and processing these joy-stealers can help reclaim lost joy. Remember, you were created for more than mere survival; you were made for God-given joy and peace. If you struggle with these joy-stealers, consider reaching out. I offer free 15-minute consultations to explore the benefits of coaching or counseling. Visit the show notes or our website for more information.
Remember, you are made to live with clarity, confidence, and a deep peace that surpasses all understanding. Until next time, keep shining and take care.
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