In the world of sexuality, intimacy, and embodiment, we often hear the phrase “safe space.”
And while I deeply value safety, I want to be honest:
I don’t fully align with that term anymore.
And while I deeply value safety, I want to be honest:
I don’t fully align with that term anymore.
Here’s why.
When we enter into erotic work — whether in coaching, community, or relationship — we’re not stepping into a predictable, bubble-wrapped experience. We’re stepping into the unknown. And that takes courage.
In my Somatica practice, I co-create what I call a brave space.
Brave space doesn’t mean reckless. It means real.
"Safe space" can sometimes carry the illusion that we’ll never feel anything hard — that we won’t get uncomfortable, triggered, or challenged.
But true safety isn’t about avoiding discomfort — it’s about knowing we can move through it with support.
In this work, discomfort isn’t a sign that something is wrong. Often, it’s a signal that something true is surfacing — a place that’s been numb, shut down, or guarded for good reason.
The brave space is where we allow that to emerge — slowly, consensually, and with care.
We begin each journey by setting clear agreements for how we’ll be together — in body, mind, and energy. I offer a foundational structure, and then invite you to add your own agreements. This isn’t a one-way street — it’s co-created.
We use constant body check-ins to track what’s happening in real time. There’s no expectation to override your boundaries or push past your edges. Instead, we titrate your experience — letting trust build at the speed of your nervous system.
You don’t have to give your trust away all at once.
In fact, I invite you not to.
In fact, I invite you not to.
Instead, we build it together — slowly, with consistency.
With clear yes’s and empowered no’s.
With ruptures and repair. With tools like Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent, which helps you discern what you're truly wanting, giving, allowing, or receiving.
If something feels scratchy, “off,” or unclear — I see that as an invitation, not a problem.
You’ll often hear me ask:
“Can we get curious about that edge?”
“Would you like to explore that part with a bit more attention?”
“Would you like to explore that part with a bit more attention?”
You are never forced into anything. But we can learn to stay — gently — with what’s arising.
We build trust through the discomfort, not around it.
True safety isn’t about never feeling hurt.
It’s about knowing that if something goes sideways, we can repair.
It’s about knowing that if something goes sideways, we can repair.
That’s why I believe in relational integrity. If a rupture happens — whether in a session or in life — we don’t have to cancel, collapse, or ghost.
We can name it, feel it, and come back into connection, often stronger than before.
In my practice, brave space means:
- You are not expected to be “fine” all the time.
- Your edges are welcome, not avoided.
- You’re not left alone in discomfort — we move through it together.
- We value repair, presence, and your embodied truth over perfection.
You don’t have to be fearless to explore this work.
You just have to be willing. And willing is more than enough.
With warmth and devotion to your unfolding,
Tovah Petra
Tovah Petra
There’s a quiet truth many of us don't speak aloud… sometimes, it takes everything falling apart for something real to begin.
Maybe it’s the moment your marriage feels irreparable.
Maybe it’s waking up after another night lost to addiction, wondering who you’ve become.
Maybe it’s the heavy, aching loneliness even when you're not alone.
Maybe it’s waking up after another night lost to addiction, wondering who you’ve become.
Maybe it’s the heavy, aching loneliness even when you're not alone.
Whatever form it takes, that “lowest point” can feel like the end. But what if it’s actually a beginning?
We tend to think of transformation as a glow-up, a New Year’s resolution, or a clean break into something shiny and new. But real transformation? It’s messy. It's raw. It often starts in the dark.
Hitting rock bottom strips away everything false. It burns through illusions. You're left face-to-face with your pain, your patterns, your shame—and strangely, your power.
Because when there’s nothing left to lose, you become free to choose. To choose yourself. To choose truth. To choose a different story.
Here’s the part most of us miss… transformation doesn’t just happen in the mind. It happens in the body.
We carry old trauma in our cells. Our nervous systems adapt to chaos, rejection, abandonment. We armor up, disconnect, go numb—until the body says "no more."
Somatic healing—the process of reconnecting with the wisdom and sensations of your body—becomes the bridge back to yourself. When you learn to sit with discomfort rather than flee it, to breathe through the urge to dissociate, to feel without fixing—you begin to heal from the inside out. That’s where intimacy with yourself begins. That’s where everything begins.
When you rebuild trust with your own body, your own truth, your own needs—you stop outsourcing your worth. You stop performing, pleasing, proving. You stop attracting relationships that mirror your wounds instead of your worth. In marriage, this self-intimacy becomes the soil where real connection can grow—not codependency, not silent resentment, but honest, sacred partnership. In addiction recovery, it becomes your anchor. Instead of running from pain, you learn to hold it. You become the safe place you were always seeking. In life, it opens you to a deeper joy. Not the manic highs of achievement or approval, but the quiet joy of being. Being in your body. Being in your truth. Being enough.
If you’re in the darkness now, this is not where your story ends.
Let it break you open.
Let it soften the places that got too hard.
Let it burn away the masks that no longer fit.
Let it soften the places that got too hard.
Let it burn away the masks that no longer fit.
You are not broken. You are being rebuilt.
You are not lost. You are being returned to yourself.
You are not weak. You are on the edge of becoming whole.
You are not lost. You are being returned to yourself.
You are not weak. You are on the edge of becoming whole.
And when you rise—and you will rise—you won’t just have survived.
You’ll have transformed.
You’ll have remembered.
You’ll have reclaimed the most sacred relationship of all… the one with you.
You’ll have remembered.
You’ll have reclaimed the most sacred relationship of all… the one with you.
Somatic Healing Resources to Explore:
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk
- Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine
- Somatic Experiencing therapy
- Yoga, breath work, and embodied movement practices
If this speaks to you, know this: You are not alone. And you are not too far gone. The way back is already inside you.
Start by breathing.
Start by feeling.
Start by listening.
Start by feeling.
Start by listening.
And then, take one small step toward yourself.
The rest will follow.✨
~Heart Open~
Tovah Petra
