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From Chaos to Clarity for parents raising special needs children: Your child will thank you!
Want Freedom ?
The best environment for you and your neuro-diverse child to grow is one that exists when you move beyond the limitations of your mind
We are all the creators of our own lives. Some people create intentionally, but most create on auto-pilot. What do i mean by this? Lets say that we agree with the simplistically stated phrase "thoughts become things." Science tells us that we have 60,000 to 90,0000 thoughts per day. 90% of those thoughts were the same as yesterday. This means that unless we "shake it up," get our of the normal routine and get ahead of our environment, our tomorrow will look like our yestereday. Science also tells us that we are only conscious during 5% of our waking day. This means that 95% of the day is on autopilot. This is when our routine, habits and body lead us through the motions. In order to change the programs that run our lives, we need to tap into that conscious time.
Many adults claim to fall into ruts as they get older. You get the spouse, the job & the kids and its easy to fall into a routine.Routine feels like the right thing to do, until it doesnt. The reason a routine can be good one day and not the next can be likened to "life." I've heard it said, and i concur, "you are either growing or dying....there is no coasting. What we wouild consider coasting would be considered dying. So, a routine that works today, may work for a week, month, year.......etc., but likely it will have to evolve as you grow and change.
During this period of life, people tend to spend less time meeting new people, being creative & traveling the world. This might be the time period where you set your alarm and wake up a couple minutes before it goes off. To turn off your alarm, means to have your phone in your hand. You check your emails real quick, pull up facebook, glance over at instagram and of course your text messenger. You might swing by the bank account or check out the stocks, weather, sports or preferred shopping app. You're slowly waking and you feel like you. You see, everything we do triggers a chemical reaction within our bodies. There is always a payoff. We get the dopamine hit, the chemical reaction and........ahhhhh. This feels normal therefore, it must be right.
Now we are off to the bathroom, brush teeth and head towards the coffee maker. As the kids join you in the kitchen you ask one of your go to questions ("anything interesting happening at school this week?). You may calm a tantrum, change a diaper and then off to the car and head to work.
I think you get what im laying down wiithout taking you through the rest of the day. You see, we wake up coming out of a state of theta brain wave patters. Theta is said to be the most suggestable state for reprogramming the subconsciou mind. You can think of subconsciou mind as the greatest super computer ever created. The subconscious mind executes the programs that run our life. In future discussions, we will get into editing and changing programs , but for now, i want you to have an understanding of what we are dealing with. You are at work, having a conversation by the water cooler, which means you woke up in the best state to create3 and went unconscious by the time you turned off your alarm (remember the phone in hand.....). All of the activities that followed were led by your body, which has now become the mind.
If we are either growing or dying, what would you say the hypothetical person in this scenario is doing? Certainly, there tomorrow should look like there yesterday. Do this 5 days per week for 10 years and its no wonder things seem to get worse rather than better. This doesn't imply any kind of laziness or stupidy. In fact, it suggests the opposite. This suggests a well intentioned, hard working and in our culture "responsible" adult. Whats missing here is a conscious creator. The body, as the mind, carries this individual through life. Anything new that enters this person's life is happenstance or the product of another person's creation. The person in this story is still the creator of their life, but is it too harsh to say its an unconscious person who is dying and is creating based on ideals they had 10 years prior. Add in the voice in their head, possible negativity, gossip, judgement, dare i say infidelity, addiction or some other impulsive behavior that came onto the scene in an effort to escape the manotney and it easy to see how a well intentioned persons life can fall off track.
What does this have to do with your special needs child?
When mom or dad comes home from another unconscious unfulfilling day at the office, lets just say their involvement will often times be out of oblication rather than choice. This is where we say what we do is out of obligation rather than choice. Its the difference between "i have to" and "i get to."
