Living a simple life looks different for each person. It doesn’t mean you have to buy a farm and live off the land. You can still live a life that is simple and fulfilling without doing those things at all.
I know a couple that owned a big, fancy house. A few years ago they decided to sell and rent a small, simple house so they could afford to buy a property at the beach. They said being at the beach revived them; they felt at peace and closer to God at the beach and it was how they renewed their energy. That was what living a simple life meant for them-removing the financial strain of their big house so they could spend time doing what they love.
Usually we’re so busy we don’t take time to think about how we want our lives to look-we just run from one thing to another, all day, every day. Many times we have no idea what we really want.
Why is living a simple life (one that brings joy and meaning to your life) important? Life is short. We have no idea how long we have on this earth. We were put here for a purpose and on purpose. Being stressed out all the time by finances and overbooked schedules can cause long-term damage to your health. High blood pressure, sleep problems, weight gain ( to name just a few) are usually indicators of stress and an out-of-balance lifestyle.
What does your simple life look like? Is it downsizing so you can quit your stressful job and have a more meaningful job and still be able to pay your bills? Is it starting your own business so you have time to care for your family? Is it owning a cabin in the mountains so you can get away and enjoy the peace and quiet?
Now that you know why you need a simple life, how do you get there? I’m not sure who to credit this saying to but I’ve heard it said that you can’t get somewhere if you don’t know where you’re going. Maybe you love the way your life is right now. If so, that’s awesome! If you find yourself saying, “I sure wish I could….” or “I want to do this….”, then maybe it’s time to sit down and come up with a game plan.
Here are a few suggestions:
1) Take a few minutes to inventory what your life looks like currently and what you would like to have changed. Maybe you love most things about your life and you only need to tweak a few small things.
2) What would be involved with changing those things? Write down a list of the steps so you have a clear idea what you need to do. Do you need to change your spending habits to save money to fund those changes? Do you need to downsize? Do you need to change jobs?
3) Set a timeline to implement those changes. Small changes can be implemented daily or weekly. If your goal is to change your finances, maybe you pack lunch instead of buying lunch. If you have a larger goal, like downsizing, break that into smaller steps and give yourself dates to accomplish those goals.
4) Don’t get discouraged. Sometimes making changes can feel overwhelming. Just remember that small steps are still progress. No matter how long it takes to get there, it will be worth the hard work to get there.
5) Enjoy the journey. This process will grow you. You will learn a lot about yourself and it will help you to appreciate your life when you finally reach your goals.
Not sure where to start? Good news! I’m a life coach….I can help! I would love to chat with you to help you determine your next steps. If you don’t know what life coaching is, visit my website and book a free 30 minute session. I can’t wait to chat with you!
mindyheinercoaching.com
Love and blessings,
Mindy
If you’re like me, you love being a mom. You love having kids around. You love the busy-ness, the schedules, the friends coming over.... all of it. I loved every stage of kids from infants to teens. I loved my life just the way it was and the thought of my life changing and not having kids around was very hard for me.
I realized as the empty-nest stage approached, my life had been so centered around my kids and my family (which I felt was the way it was supposed to be-no regrets there!) that I realized, I had no goals for the future. I was happily engrossed in caring for the house, running the kids from place to place, attending concerts and football games, having movie nights and game nights, and working full-time to help make ends meet at home. I was in denial that my life would always stay that way, even though I logically knew it wouldn’t.
My husband was a single father when I met him so we literally had kids from day 1. As we neared the empty nest stage, I began to wonder, what’s going to happen next? Will the next stage of my life be as wonderful as the previous one? Where do I go from here? And what about our marriage? Since we won’t have kids at home anymore, will we be able to stay connected and enjoy the closeness we had when the kids were home or will we be like a lot of couples and split up because they grew apart and found out they no longer had anything in common?
Why does this happen? I’m sure you’ve heard of a “midlife crisis”. In my thinking, the empty-nest phase is a woman’s “midlife crisis”. Everything we have done for many years is suddenly changing and if you thoroughly enjoyed it, as I did, it’s sad to leave that part of your life behind. It’s also scary because that stage was familiar and comfortable.
Change is never easy and I think it’s especially hard when you like your life the way it is and you want it to stay that way. You begin to question if you will have purpose beyond caring for your kids. You wonder if you will find the same enjoyment and fulfillment in the empty-nest years. It also causes you to evaluate where you are. Sometimes in that evaluation process, it can cause you to rethink things and make some adjustments.
Like most things in life, mindset is a huge part of facing the empty-nest years. I’ve heard it said, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you make of it.” I have found that to be true. Yes, things do change, and yes, they can be just as wonderful and fulfilling as having kids at home. Look for the good in the situation and you will find it.
I hope you have found this to be encouraging.
If you find yourself in a tough season, I would love to help you navigate it. I'm a life coach....I can help! Not sure what life coaching is and if it can help you? Visit my website and book a session. The 1st session (30 minutes) is free so it's win-win! Visit mindyheinercoaching.com
Love and blessings,
Mindy
We’re all familiar with the changing of the seasons. Every spring we look forward to flowers and trees budding and blooming after a long, cold winter (depending where you live). Summer brings picnics, warm temperatures, and often trips to the beach or pool. Fall brings welcome coolness and preparation for winter. Winter brings the holidays and usually much colder temperatures. Each season has its benefits and downsides.
Just as we have different seasons of weather, we have different seasons in our life. Perhaps you are a working mom, juggling all the home and family responsibilities while working away from home. Maybe you quit your job to be a stay-at-home mom. Neither of these things are right or wrong and both have benefits, as well as downsides. Each of these choices can be right depending on the season you are in.
If you have little ones, sometimes it doesn’t make sense financially to pay for childcare while you work, depending on your pay scale, etc. Sometimes it’s feasible for a couple to alternate schedules to care for the kids so both parents can work but the kids are cared for. (Be sure you are still make time for communication and couple time because it’s easy to lose touch when you don’t see each other very often!) Maybe you both work the same shift and pay for childcare. Maybe your kids are older so you decided to go back to work after being home.
No matter what season you are in right now, this season has a purpose. Don’t wish it away for something different; the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence. Enjoy each moment because the moments go by so fast! And like all seasons, it will change. The kids grow up, the jobs change, and later you will realize that the small moments were actually the big moments.
Many times there are many different “right” choices. You just have to do the best you can to determine what is best for you at that moment. Pray for guidance. Talk to a trusted friend or family member for wisdom. But remember not to beat yourself up for the choices you make. You do the best you can to determine what is best at that time with the information you have. Trust your gut and give yourself grace that you are doing the best you can.
Comparing yourself and your situation to others will most definitely steal your ability to enjoy your family and the moments you have right now. Finding at least 1 thing each day to be thankful for helps me to refocus and to appreciate all that God has blessed me with. Making a list of things that you are thankful for can entirely change how you deal with a situation; it determines whether you will see the glass half full or half empty. But like the seasons outside, life seasons quickly change. Enjoy each moment!
Love and blessings,
Mindy
P.S. If you’re struggling with the season of life you’re in right now, I would love to chat with you and help you find your way along your path. I’m a life coach….I can help!!
How many times do you find yourself saying “I’m just…(fill in the blank). I’ve said it many times myself.
“I’m just a stay-at-home mom. I can’t do anything great. “
“I’m just a cashier. I’ll never amount to much.”
“I’m just a cashier. I’ll never amount to much.”
“I never finished school. I’m not smart enough to do xyz...”
The list goes on and on. Any time we say that, we’re limiting ourselves. We lock ourselves into a title, believing that’s all we can be, nothing more. Worse yet, we think we aren’t valuable without a title.
What if that wasn’t true?? But many times we have convinced ourselves it’s the truth. Whether someone else told you that or it’s what we’ve told ourselves, it’s the story we think we need to continue to live out. But you are destined to be so much more!
Maybe from where you sit now, you can’t envision anything different, a way out. Maybe you’ve been believing that story for so long that you truly believe it. Maybe you know it’s not true but digging out from where you are is too hard; it’s easier to stay where you are. It’s familiar there.
So many times we let our titles (or lack of) or what other people say about us determine our worth. If we see someone else making a large amount of money or working in a job that we think is prestigious, we think that gives them more value than us.
It’s not wrong to make a lot of money or have a job that we love. What’s wrong is thinking we aren’t valuable without it!
Each of us was put on this Earth for a reason- to help others and make a difference. That usually looks different for each person. You have the unique gifts and abilities that you need to do that. No one else can do what you do or in the way you do it.
There are people that are waiting for you to realize that and start making the difference that you were meant to make. They aren’t looking for your title or your bank balance. They are looking for YOU!
No matter where you are today, YOU are valuable, just the way you are. YOU can make a difference to the people God brings across your path. Size doesn’t matter. College degree doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that you realize that YOU are special and YOU can make a difference in the lives of others. Shine your light in your world- they’re waiting for you!
Love and blessings,
Mindy
P.S. If you need help with this, book a 30 minute free session with me. We can chat and discover what the next step on this path is for you. I can't wait to help you on your journey!
Are you afraid of your emotions? I’m sure that seems like a silly question to ask but allow me to share a few thoughts with you.
Many of you know I’ve been a nurse for many years. In the day-to-day routine of that position, many times you are faced with situations that can be sad, stressful, emotional, etc. but you aren’t able to allow those emotions to color your thinking; you have to collect your thoughts, push those feelings aside, and deal calmly with the situation at hand. When you do that for a long period of time, eventually you become numb and it is hard to express your emotions.
Maybe that’s not your story. Maybe you just don’t like feeling those emotions so you suppress them. Maybe feeling emotions makes you feel “out of control”, so you do anything you can to avoid feeling them. Again, after doing this long-term, it becomes difficult to feel any type of emotion. Many times alcohol and substance abuse is part of the picture in these cases because they allow you to numb yourself to avoid facing those feelings. Maybe you feel showing emotions is a sign of weakness, or you are afraid of what others will think of you if you show emotion.
The interesting thing about emotions is they are like waves, they come and go. They may feel overwhelming in the moment but if you allow yourself to feel them, they will pass through you. The more you are able to practice this, the quicker the emotions pass.
Here are a few tips I find helpful:
-Remind yourself emotions are like waves; they come and go quickly.
-Place your hand on your chest and take slow, deep breaths. Concentrate on feeling the air move in through your nose and out of your mouth.
-Allow yourself the freedom to feel and process the emotion. If there are tears involved, allow them. Tears can be very cleansing.
-When you first begin this process, setting a timer can be helpful. This can help with the thought, “If I start crying, I’ll never stop.”
-Have a special spot that feels safe for you to process your emotions, especially when you first begin this practice.
I hope this has been helpful for you. If any of this resonates with you and you would like help working through this process, I would love to help you! Visit the “contact me” section and book a coaching session.
Love and blessings-Mindy
