Before my husband and I married, the children seemed very positive about having me in their life. After the wedding, however, things got harder and there was much more resistance on their end. From everything I have read, this was a completely normal and expected reaction.
It is natural because once you are marry a child’s father, things become real. You are now a permanent part of their life, and that is huge change for them to process. How do we as humans react to change? Most often, we fight it. Your stepchildren have already been through massive changes before this marriage and now this is one more.
As a stepmother, it is so difficult not to take it personally. When you are rejected, you may question yourself daily, “what purpose do I play in this family?” You may even doubt the decision to marry at all.
If you are feeling any of these emotions, I hope to encourage you that you do play a very important role in your family. No matter how hard things get, you have a lot to offer your stepchildren. Unfortunately, your contributions may not be recognized now but your love, support and patience will be building into their lives, and the effects will last a lifetime!
New Book Coming
My new upcoming book focuses on the important role you play in your the lives of your stepchildren and the gifts that you bring to them. It is meant to encourage stepmothers and is tentatively titled, “16 Gifts For Your Stepchild: Keys to Blended Family Success.”
The book will focus on sixteen gifts that stepmoms can offer their stepchildren. Many of these gifts are things that you are probably already doing but it is important to realize how important and invaluable your input really is. If you have already received my free mini e-book, Four Gifts Your Stepchild Needs From You to Begin Developing Trust, you will probably like this newest one, too, which is an expansion of the first one.
A Famous Stepmom
Did you know that Abraham Lincoln, one of the most influential men in history, came from a blended family? His mother died at the age of nine years and one year later, his father married Sarah Bush Johnston. She moved into the family’s remote cabin and brought order (and love) into their lives. She had a special spot in her heart for little Abraham, who was not cut of the same cloth as the rough and tough men that surrounded him.
Abraham had a knack for words and books but was less competent at doing his chores. She made a point of buying him books to nurture his growing intellect and protecting him from the harsh ways of a father with hard ways who found it hard to encourage the son who was so different from himself.
Abraham Lincoln’s stepmother was invaluable in helping to raise a man that would change the course of his nation. He returned her affection by calling her “his best friend in this world.” He also stated,” that no son could love a mother more than he loved her.”
Sarah Lincoln believed in her stepson and she helped him the best she could, never knowing what heights he would reach later in life. She gave love, compassion, friendship and involvement, all without expectation of any returns. These are also the gifts we can give our stepchildren and there is no way of knowing what impact our offerings will have on their lives and the lives that they impact.
The children in our lives may not be the next Abraham Lincoln, and we may question how much influence we have when we share parenting between two households. Every situation is unique but we must not underestimate the important role that we play as stepmoms, whatever the circumstances.
Opportunity to Read Book Early
Would you like to get your hands on this book before everyone else? If you would, I am offering the chance to do so, by signing up below. In return, I am asking that you give an honest review of the book when it is published on Amazon. If that sounds interesting to you, please feel sign up below.
16 Gifts Book Sign UpTake care, everyone! I hope you are having a good week. Please feel free to contact me if you have questions or concerns. I would also love to hear your comments below.
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