The Power of Forgiveness in Resilience

Healing From Trauma With God’s Help – Day 4

Scripture Focus: Ephesians 4:32 (NLT)

“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

Forgiveness. Just the sound of the word can stir something deep inside a woman who’s been through trauma. For many of us, forgiveness isn’t just hard — it feels impossible. And yet, it’s one of the most powerful and necessary parts of our healing. Today, God is calling us to confront this truth: there is no true resilience without forgiveness.

Let’s be honest. Trauma has left us with real pain — pain caused by people who never said sorry, by circumstances we didn’t ask for, by wounds that run so deep we don’t even talk about them anymore. And when we carry that pain day after day, year after year, it doesn’t just sit silently in our hearts. It grows. It hardens. It becomes bitterness, anger, and eventually, emotional and spiritual exhaustion.

Ephesians 4:32 reminds us to be tenderhearted and forgiving, just as God has forgiven us. But how do we forgive someone who caused us trauma? How do we forgive people who never owned what they did? How do we forgive when we’re still picking up the pieces of what was broken? The answer is this: we forgive not because they deserve it — but because our healing demands it.

Unforgiveness is a trap. It holds you hostage while the person who hurt you continues living their life. It weighs you down emotionally, physically, and spiritually. You replay the moments, relive the pain, rehearse the betrayal — and every time you do, your trauma continues to win. Forgiveness is not about pretending it didn’t happen. It’s about choosing not to let what happened continue to have power over you. It’s about cutting the cord between your soul and the wound that’s been draining you.

Forgiveness is a spiritual decision, not an emotional feeling. That’s why we need God’s help to do it. On our own, we might never feel like forgiving. But with God, we learn that forgiveness is not weakness — it’s strength. It’s not letting someone off the hook — it’s placing them in God’s hands and releasing ourselves from the prison of resentment.

If you’re still carrying the pain of what was done to you, and you feel like forgiving is too much to ask, I want you to consider this: What is it costing you to hold on to unforgiveness? Is it keeping you up at night? Is it robbing you of joy? Is it keeping your heart hard and your spirit cold? Is it delaying your healing? Because the truth is, unforgiveness and resilience cannot coexist. Unforgiveness will wear you down until there’s no room left for joy, growth, or peace.

Sis, your resilience requires release. You cannot run forward while dragging the weight of yesterday. Forgiveness is not about the person who hurt you — it’s about freeing the woman you are becoming. It’s about choosing YOU over the bitterness. It’s about stepping into the peace and power that comes when you say, “God, I surrender this. Help me release it. Help me forgive.”

Ephesians 4:32 isn’t asking us to do anything God hasn’t already done. He forgave us when we didn’t deserve it. He covered us when we were wrong. He loved us while we were still broken. And now, He’s inviting us to do the same — not to excuse others, but to expand our capacity to heal and grow. Forgiveness is the pathway to freedom. It’s where trauma begins to lose its grip, where your identity is no longer tied to the pain, and where God’s strength rises in you like never before.

So today, I challenge you to take one step toward forgiveness. Write the name. Say the prayer. Ask God to help you release the pain. You don’t have to feel ready. You just have to be willing. Because your healing matters more than your pride. Your peace is more important than the apology you never got. And your resilience is waiting on the other side of your release.

Choose forgiveness. Choose freedom. Choose to heal.