For the next few weeks, I am going to start a new series, of quick tips for stepparents. These tips would work for anyone who is working with children/teens that aren’t quite “theirs,” such as foster children or even mentors. Most of these tips are adapted from my book, 16 Gifts from a Stepmom: Encouragement for the Blended Family Journey. Okay, here goes with Tip #1: Do Something Fun!
One of the most important things to learn about children is that they live for fun. No matter how serious a child or teen may seem to be, in their heart is a desire to let loose and have a good time. What is the definition of fun? Cambridge Dictionary calls it pleasure, enjoyment, or entertainment.
Just like they say food is the way to a man’s heart, so is fun the way to a kid’s heart. One of the most powerful ways that a human being begins to feel close to someone is to have fun with them. Laughter really is the best medicine for feelings of rejection, hurt and anger.
One problem, though, is how do you find time for it? As stepmoms, especially, we are often so busy trying to keep everything running that it seems like an afterthought. But it shouldn’t be. Here are some suggestions for making it happen.
Four Tips For Having Fun With Step
children
children- Put your phone down! And tell everyone else to do that, too. The most important thing about having a enjoyable time is to be fully present, or in the moment.
- Choose something easy that everyone agrees upon. Don’t force your ideas of a good time unto unsuspecting young people but instead go for something that is obviously going to be fun. The less resistance, the more chance of fun actually happening!
- Don’t take this time to teach any lessons or force conversations. Your self-restraint will be much appreciated. There are other days for that. Just let this be a time for pure amusement.
- If you are a stepparent, make sure that it is an activity that the other parent would approve of. You don’t want your efforts to backfire. Try to avoid anything too controversial. If possible, let the suggestion come from the biological parent, at least, at first.
If you would like some concrete ideas for having fun with your stepchildren (or any children or teens), please feel free to download my list of fun ideas for spending time with kids. Look for more stepparent tips in the week to come! I would love to hear what fun things you like to do with your kids or stepkids in the comments below.
