Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Beautiful woman,
Let me talk to you without softening it.
Some of us are not exhausted because life is heavy.
We are exhausted because we have no boundaries.
And I’m including myself in that.
Lately I’ve been tired in a way that sleep could not fix.
Not overworked.
Not overwhelmed with tasks.
Just internally drained.
Not overwhelmed with tasks.
Just internally drained.
And when I really sat with God about it, He showed me something uncomfortable:
I have been accessible without discretion.
I have been compassionate without limits.
I have been emotionally available to people who have no capacity to handle me properly.
And that is leaking me dry.
You Are Not Burned Out. You Are Unfiltered.
Let’s be honest.
We say we’re tired of life.
But really, we’re tired of people having unlimited access to us.
But really, we’re tired of people having unlimited access to us.
We respond immediately.
We explain excessively.
We absorb emotions that are not ours.
We fix what God didn’t assign us to fix.
We say yes when our spirit is screaming no.
We explain excessively.
We absorb emotions that are not ours.
We fix what God didn’t assign us to fix.
We say yes when our spirit is screaming no.
And then we pray for strength.
Proverbs 4:23 does not say guard your heart when it’s convenient.
It says above all else.
That means guarding your heart is a spiritual priority.
Because everything flows from it.
Your discernment.
Your stamina.
Your obedience.
Your reactions.
Your peace.
Your stamina.
Your obedience.
Your reactions.
Your peace.
When your heart is unguarded, your life feels chaotic.
Emotional Boundaries: What They Actually Are
Let me teach this clearly.
Emotional boundaries are not attitude.
They are alignment.
They are deciding:
• Who gets access to your vulnerability
• Who gets access to your time
• Who gets access to your explanations
• Who gets access to your energy
• Who gets access to your time
• Who gets access to your explanations
• Who gets access to your energy
Jesus had boundaries.
Mark 1:35–38 shows us something powerful.
After healing and serving, He withdrew to pray.
When the disciples came saying, “Everyone is looking for You,”
He did not rush back.
After healing and serving, He withdrew to pray.
When the disciples came saying, “Everyone is looking for You,”
He did not rush back.
He moved according to assignment — not pressure.
That is discipline.
And many of us move according to guilt.
Oversharing Is Not Intimacy
Let’s say it plainly.
Oversharing is often a trauma response.
When you didn’t feel heard growing up, you overexpress as an adult.
When you weren’t protected emotionally, you overexpose hoping someone will finally handle you gently.
But not everyone deserves full access to your story.
Proverbs 13:3 says:
“Those who guard their lips preserve their lives…”
“Those who guard their lips preserve their lives…”
Guarding your lips preserves your life.
Every detail does not need to be public.
And after you overshare, what happens?
You replay it.
You question it.
You feel exposed.
You question it.
You feel exposed.
That is emotional leakage.
Overexplaining Is Insecurity in Disguise
If every boundary needs a paragraph, you are not secure in it yet.
“No” is a complete sentence.
Matthew 5:37 says:
“Let your ‘Yes’ be yes, and your ‘No,’ no…”
“Let your ‘Yes’ be yes, and your ‘No,’ no…”
Jesus did not overexplain.
Overexplaining drains you because you are trying to manage someone else’s comfort while neglecting your own peace.
That is not spiritual maturity.
That is people-pleasing.
Overextending Is Self-Abandonment
This one hurts.
Overextending is when you ignore your limits to maintain connection.
You help when you’re depleted.
You show up when you’re resentful.
You carry what was never assigned to you.
You show up when you’re resentful.
You carry what was never assigned to you.
Galatians 6:5 says:
“For each one should carry their own load.”
“For each one should carry their own load.”
Notice — their own.
Not yours.
When you constantly carry others emotionally, you start to feel heavy spiritually.
Because you were never designed to be everyone’s savior.
Saying Yes Out of Guilt
Guilt is a terrible decision-maker.
You say yes because:
• You don’t want to seem selfish
• You don’t want to disappoint
• You’re afraid they’ll pull away
• You don’t want conflict
• You don’t want to disappoint
• You’re afraid they’ll pull away
• You don’t want conflict
But every yes that violates your peace will eventually create resentment.
And resentment will quietly harden your heart.
That is why boundaries are protection.
Not punishment.
Mental Discipline: The Real Work
Now let’s go deeper.
Mental discipline is not suppressing emotion.
It is regulating it.
2 Corinthians 10:5 says we take every thought captive.
That means not every thought deserves to stay.
Women struggle here because we process deeply.
We replay tone.
We assume intention.
We create narratives.
We catastrophize outcomes.
We assume intention.
We create narratives.
We catastrophize outcomes.
And if you do not discipline your thoughts, your emotions will run your life.
Romans 12:2 says to be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Renewing requires repetition.
It requires correction.
It requires telling yourself the truth when your emotions lie.
How Leaking Energy Affects Your Spiritual Walk
When you are emotionally leaking:
• Prayer feels heavy
• Worship feels distant
• Discernment feels cloudy
• Patience runs thin
• Bitterness grows quietly
• Worship feels distant
• Discernment feels cloudy
• Patience runs thin
• Bitterness grows quietly
Not because God moved.
Because your heart is overloaded.
Your spirit cannot lead when your emotions are unmanaged.
Truthful Moment
This week I had to repent.
Not for sin.
But for lack of boundaries.
I had to admit I was drained because I refused to filter.
I wanted to be loving.
But love without wisdom becomes depletion.
James 1:5 says if you lack wisdom, ask God.
Wisdom includes knowing when to withdraw.
Knowing when to be silent.
Knowing when to say no.
Knowing when to stop explaining.
Beautiful woman,
You do not need to be more available.
You need to be more disciplined.
You do not need to prove your love through exhaustion.
You need to guard your heart through structure.
If you feel drained, ask yourself:
Where am I leaking?
Who has access they have not earned?
What conversations need boundaries?
What thoughts need captivity?
Who has access they have not earned?
What conversations need boundaries?
What thoughts need captivity?
Guard your heart.
Because everything flows from it.
And disciplined women don’t just love deeply.
They protect wisely.
And I am building that discipline right alongside you.
— Dashonia Marie 💎
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