There’s a saying that has stuck with me throughout my career: How you do one thing is how you do everything. I first heard this during a seminar series in New York, focused on Integrity. We were reflecting on what integrity was, and someone said it quietly—but it landed hard. It made me think about the tiny things I’d let slip, and still let slip; such as my taxes right now!
It’s a simple yet profound truth. The small actions, the tiny commitments, the things you think don’t matter—they are the foundation of how you operate in life. They are a reflection of your character, your integrity, and your ability to lead.
The Microcosm Reflects the MacrocosmIf you’re dropping the ball on small tasks, showing up late to meetings, missing deadlines, or making commitments you don’t keep, these aren’t just isolated incidents. These are signals of how you approach life.
I once coached a product leader who was leading a team, that was refusing to put on their camera's. Only he had his camera on. That is a team not operating with integrity, esp given that 70% of communication is non verbal. Our facial expressions and body movements communicate, as do feelings, but all of that is now shutdown and hence that team's communication is not flowing. You have to work twice as hard verbally. Secondly, the leader themselves had not established any team agreements that clarify expectations from each other, which builds trust and establishes psychological safety.
You may tell yourself, Oh, it’s just one email I forgot to send, or It’s just one meeting I was five minutes late to. But zoom out, and you’ll see a pattern. These small cracks in your discipline and accountability expand into larger gaps in your effectiveness, your credibility, and your ability to lead.
Excellence isn’t a switch you flip when the stakes are high. It’s a habit, a practice. The way you do the smallest tasks reflects how you’ll handle the big ones. If you can’t be trusted to honor the little things, how can you be trusted with something greater?
We are all, always out of integrity; there is always something that we drop in life, our work habits, our financial habits, our fitness & health habits, our hygiene, our relationship habits and on it goes, but we also practice bringing integrity back into our lives; staying fit, saving, delivering on our agreements at work, etc. Constantly working on bring integrity back into all of your areas in life are key.
Integrity and the Power of Your Word
The most powerful asset you have in life and leadership is your word. When you say you’ll do something and then follow through, you build trust—not just with others, but with yourself. Every time you break your word, even in small ways, you diminish your own sense of self-respect and capability.
Recently, I told myself I’d start training again. It felt minor. But each time I skipped it, I didn’t just lose a practice—I lost trust in myself. I let myself off the hook. When I finally stuck to it for 30 days, I noticed a huge shift in how I felt, walking up steep escalators & stairs felt easy; doing 4 workshops in a week was a breeze.
On the flip side, when you honor your commitments, even when they feel minor, you strengthen your own sense of agency and power. It is a positive feedback loop that reinforces your behaviours and has you feel good about yourself, which further motivates you. When you let yourself off the hook in relationship to your commitments, you feel bad and that is when the spiral down happens.
Think of accountability as the structure that holds up the power of your word. Without it, your words become meaningless. With it, they carry weight. People listen. You gain influence. And most importantly, you become someone who can trust themselves to follow through on their own goals and aspirations. Remember, influence is what you have when you walk into a room and say nothing at all. You build it over time, through your word, attitude, expertise and more.
Commitment Is the Key to Growth
Psychologists and motivational theorists have long studied the impact of commitment on personal transformation. Self-Determination Theory (SDT) tells us that autonomy, competence, and relatedness are the pillars of motivation. When you take full ownership of your commitments (autonomy), do them well (competence), and honor them in relation to others (relatedness), you create a deep sense of fulfillment and purpose, you build trust and your influence grows.
At McGraw Hill, I took on a work that no one else really wanted at the time. I didn’t have to—but owning it gave me a sense of agency I hadn’t felt in months. That stretch built trust with peers and deepened my confidence and it opened up my career and rove me to unexpected heights.
Conversely, when you avoid responsibility, break commitments, or let laziness creep in, you disconnect from your own sense of power. Relationships become forced. You start to feel like life is happening to you instead of being driven by you.
What This Means for Leadership
As a product and leadership coach, I see this pattern play out often.
One pattern I see often? Product leaders who deliver amazing strategies & roadmaps but struggle to follow through on stakeholder promises & communication. Their stakeholders stop trusting them—not because of bad intent, but because of missed micro-commitments & no communication.
People wonder why they’re struggling to gain traction in their careers, why their teams don’t respect them, or why they can’t seem to move the needle on big goals. More often than not, the root cause isn’t a lack of intelligence or talent—it’s a lack of discipline in the small things.
So, if you want to lead, you must first lead yourself as you are a role model. And that starts with:
- Doing what you say you’ll do, no matter how small.
- Being on time—not just physically, but mentally and emotionally present.
- Following through on tasks, no matter how mundane.
- Holding yourself accountable instead of making excuses.
- Doing the inner shadow work in order to be able to identify and regulate your emotions & triggers
These micro-movements of integrity, shape who you are as a leader and as a person. They determine whether people trust you, whether they follow you, and ultimately, whether you succeed.
The Challenge: Start Today
I challenge you to audit your commitments—both personal and professional. Are you someone who follows through? Or do you let things slip, thinking they don’t matter? The truth is, they do. Every little action is a vote for the type of person you are becoming.
I did this audit myself last month. I realized I was saying “yes” to too many things and dropping the ball on creating other content & my own paperwork. I’ve since started blocking focus time every Friday—and I’m already seeing the benefits.
So, honor your word. Follow through. Show up fully. Because how you do one thing is how you do life. And that’s what truly sets great leaders apart.
Let’s be real: work burnout is everywhere. And after years of uncertainty, disrupted routines, and blurred work-life boundaries, it’s no wonder so many of us feel stretched thin and our nervous systems are disregulated.
If you’re waking up exhausted, feeling stuck, or struggling to care about the things you used to love—this isn’t just a rough patch. It might be burnout.
The good news? You can take steps to turn things around.
Burnout Isn’t Just Stress. It’s a Signal.
Burnout is more than just being tired. It’s emotional and physical exhaustion caused by prolonged stress—and it builds quietly, until suddenly, you're not functioning like yourself.
You might be:
- Withdrawing from friends
- Struggling to concentrate
- Feeling stuck or unmotivated
- Procrastinating constantly
- Battling worry or self-doubt
- Experiencing physical symptoms—like headaches, insomnia, or digestive issues
This is your brain waving a white flag. And ignoring it won’t help.
The Truth: You’re Not Alone
Research from Future Forum shows that nearly half of 18–29-year-olds are feeling drained, and 40% of older workers are right there with them. The Black Dog Institute also found a sharp rise in psychological distress across Australian workplaces since the pandemic began.
Burnout isn’t weakness—it’s a common response to an uncommon amount of pressure. I know this experience personally, because I burnt myself out, in a literal way. I had a nervous systems breakdown, brought on by no boundaries between work and life. Covid lockdown dismantled those boundaries and I worked harder. I had no boundaries, I took no steps to nurture myself, to create strong boundaries between work & me. This was on me!
So let’s talk solutions.
8 Burnout-Busting Habits That Actually Work
Burnout needs careful management, you need to put yourself first, making sure to practice mindfulness, healthy eating habits, exercising regularly and getting good regular sleep. Take the time to consider what stressors make you feel pressure at work and look for solutions. Speak to someone; a problem shared is a problem halved, it might be your colleague, your boss or your spouse but let people know as there is always something that can be done. Take regular breaks, even if it is a walk around the corner. Below are some great habits you can take on to shift the burnout.
1. Ruthlessly Prioritise
Say goodbye to people-pleasing. Adopt the “Hell Yes or No” rule—if it’s not a strong yes, it’s a no. Use tools like the Eisenhower Matrix to stay focused on what truly matters, and push back by asking:
“If I take this on, what should I deprioritise?”
2. Set Boundaries Without Guilt
Block out time for deep work, rest, and life. Protect your calendar like it’s your sanity—because it is.
Try:
- “Let me get back to you” before committing
- Muting notifications outside work hours
- Creating digital-free zones
- Be discerning with your friends; get rid of toxic, superficial, good time friends. Connect deeper with those that stand by you through thick and thin!
3. Manage Energy, Not Just Time
Stop sprinting marathons. Use time boxing to work in focused bursts, followed by real recovery. Once a month, audit your calendar and ask:
“What’s draining me that I can delete, delegate, or defer?” Marie Kondo your calendar!!!! Haha
4. Learn the Art of Saying No—Kindly
You don’t have to say “no” to say no.
Try:
- Redirecting: “I’m at capacity—have you asked…?”
- Negotiating: “I can, but I’ll need to shift other deadlines.”
- Delaying: “Let’s revisit this next quarter.”
5. Reconnect With What Fuels You
Burnout often comes when you’ve lost sight of your why. Reignite it.
- Delegate what you don’t need to own
- Celebrate small wins
- Zoom out and ask: Does this still align with what matters most to me?
6. Stress-Proof Your Routine
- Move your body (even 10 minutes helps)
- Sleep like it’s your job
- Journal to clear mental clutter
- Talk it out—with a friend, mentor, or therapist
7. Holiday Like You Mean It
- Take a long weekend every quarter
- Fully unplug at least once a year (no socials, no inbox)
- If you’re sick, rest—really rest
Your health isn’t a bonus. It’s the foundation of everything.
8. Live Intentionally, Not Reactively
Burnout thrives on autopilot. Take back control by:
- Defining your purpose & values then work to align your days to it
- Setting clear intentions every morning
- Focusing on actions that truly move the needle
- Clean your thinking up. Unpack your limiting beliefs, stories, assumptions, costs & payoffs with your relationship with work, or any stressor!
Protecting Your Energy Isn’t Selfish. It’s Smart Leadership.
Burnout isn’t a badge of honour. It’s a warning sign. When you lead yourself with clarity, care, and boundaries, you don’t just survive—you create the conditions for others to thrive too.
So if you're feeling on the edge, take a breath. Then take one small step. You’ve got this.
Most people hate giving constructive feedback. It’s awkward. It can lead to conflict.
You might wonder—Is it worth it? Yes. Always.
However, you need to reframe how you see feedback. It’s not a confrontation. I believe it’s a gift. When you hold back feedback, you rob your team of the insights they need to grow. You deny them the clarity they crave. Done well, feedback is gold—it uncovers blind spots and accelerates growth.
Here’s the truth:
Most managers know feedback matters! They’ve taken the trainings. They’ve read the books, but many still don’t give real, honest feedback. Why?
Because they confuse feedback with praise. A “Nice job” or a quick pat on the back feels easier, but feedback isn’t just kudos.
Feedback is insight that changes behavior.
It’s the lever that helps your team find meaning, motivation, and mastery in their work. Let’s break it down.
Why Feedback Creates Meaningful Work
Employees want to feel fulfilled and in fact to be motivated, its needed as it underpins the four motivation levers:
To unlock true motivation, you need at least three. Feedback fuels all four.
Here’s how:
1. Feedback Drives Mastery
Humans crave mastery. From childhood, we’re wired to improve. Feedback makes that possible.
It helps people:
- Spot what’s not working
- Adjust their approach
- Get better, faster
Mastery boosts confidence. Confidence builds momentum. Momentum drives team energy and motivation. Nothing more satisfying then getting something out the door and completed! Here’s how to use feedback to build mastery:
- Give stretch assignments—but don’t leave them hanging. Coach through it.
- When someone struggles, resist the urge to jump in. Let them learn.
- Offer small pieces of feedback often—not just in reviews.
- Help them apply what they’ve learned in one context to something else.
This is how you build capability. The message? “I believe in your potential.”
2. Feedback Highlights Impact
The best feedback shows people the impact of their work.
Use the SBI model:
- Situation – What was happening?
- Behavior – What did they do?
- Impact – What effect did it have?
This tells people why their work matters. Let’s compare using constructive feedback:
“Good job on that PESTLE model.” vs. “Thanks for the analysis. It helped a stakeholder clearly see our strategy, which led to an immediate decision to move forward with the workshop.”
Which do you think creates more motivation? When people understand the ripple effects of their work, they stay engaged—and committed.
What about some constructive feedback this time.
"This meeting was a disaster—you shut down your designer." vs "During our team meeting (Situation), you dismissed the designers suggestion without discussion (Behaviour), which makes them hesitant to share ideas later (Impact). I’d love to see more open discussions & debates in future meetings; where you ask for feedback and generate debate. That way, we can understand different perspectives, which leads to better decisions, outcomes & solutions."
3. Feedback Makes People Feel Seen
Too many employees feel invisible. According to a 2021 study, 45% don’t believe their manager understands them. Feedback changes that. Even a tough conversation—done with curiosity—signals care.
Ask questions like:
- “I noticed that project slipped. Is everything okay?”
- “What support would help you stay on track next time?”
Be curious. Don’t jump to conclusions and when you end with next steps or ideas for improvement, it tells them:
I see you. I’m here for your growth.
I see you. I’m here for your growth.
Show them you’re invested in their growth.
When employees feel seen and supported, their connection to work—and to you—deepens.
This kind of connection builds trust.
And trust is the foundation for real motivation and meaning at work.
And trust is the foundation for real motivation and meaning at work.
The Bottom Line
Great feedback doesn’t just correct behavior. It drives motivation. It builds meaning. It shows people they matter.
Mastery.
Momentum.
Mutual respect.
Meaning.
Momentum.
Mutual respect.
Meaning.
Feedback unlocks all four.
So here’s your challenge:
When’s the last time you gave meaningful, constructive feedback? What stopped you and how might your team show up differently if you made it a habit?
Want help turning feedback into your leadership superpower?
Let’s talk.
No matter what you do—whether you're building a business, advancing your career, or managing a household—you want to show up as your best self. You strive for excellence, aiming to improve and optimize your actions.
But to truly grow, you must first understand your shadow self—the insecurities, limiting beliefs, and inner stories that hold you back. These unseen barriers can lead to hesitation, self-sabotage, or playing small. Left unchecked, they will get in your way.
Just as recognizing your strengths is crucial, so is integrating and accepting your shadow. Without this self-awareness, you’ll struggle to improve performance, progress in your career, or become a strong leader.
Mapping Your Shadow
Developing self-awareness requires deep reflection. One powerful approach is creating a Shadow Map using the GRAIL framework to identify limiting beliefs and behaviors. Set aside an hour, write them down, and observe the patterns. The more familiar you are with your shadow, the easier it becomes to recognize when it’s influencing your actions versus when your higher self is leading.
Keep a running journal for reflection. Self-reflection is essential for leadership. You need to look inward to assess your actions, behaviors, and impact.
Most of these are pretty self explanatory but what do I mean by a gremlin? Often our shadow self can take over and run our lives off course in different areas of our lives. I often encourage my clients to give their "shadow self" a name, using a character that means something to them which allows them to create a little distance between their true essence and their limitations. It allows you to be the observer of your shadow self. This technique is known as "self-distancing." By stepping back from ourselves, we can acknowledge our challenges without letting them control us. Psychologists use this method to help us gain perspective and take more productive actions. So if you were to identify your shadow self, what would the shape of it be? What would you name it? Below I have listed some inner critics & imposters that you can think about.
Types of Inner Critics
- The Perfectionist – Sets impossibly high standards and makes you feel like nothing is ever good enough.
- The Taskmaster – Pushes you to work harder and never rest, making you feel lazy if you slow down.
- The Underminer – Undermines your confidence, warning you that success will make others resent you.
- The Guilt-Tripper – Reminds you of past mistakes and makes you feel unworthy.
- The Destroyer – Attacks your self-worth and makes you feel fundamentally flawed.
- The Inner Controller – Criticizes your habits and impulses, making you feel out of control.
- The Comparison Judge – Constantly compares you to others, making you feel like you’re falling behind.
- The Doubter – Questions your skills and decisions, making you second-guess everything.
Types of ImposterS
- The Perfectionist – Believes success only counts if everything is flawless, leading to chronic self-doubt.
- The Expert – Feels like a fraud unless they know everything about a subject, avoiding risks or new challenges.
- The Soloist – Struggles to ask for help, fearing it will expose their incompetence.
- The Natural Genius – Feels like an imposter if things don’t come easily or require effort.
- The Superhero – Overworks and over commits to prove their worth, fearing they are secretly inadequate.
That said, managing self-awareness is key. If you focus too much on your shortcomings, self-reflection can turn into insecurity, imposter syndrome, or even paralysis. Growth isn’t about making yourself wrong for being human—it’s about learning to navigate your mind with intention.
As a product leadership coach, I’ve seen many early-career PMs become consumed by their perceived shortcomings. This self-doubt kept them from taking risks and moving forward. Especially when starting out, it’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of self-criticism. But you can break free by reframing your thoughts and choosing more empowering perspectives.
Here are four strategies to combat self-doubt and build confidence:
1. Choose a Powerful Way of Being
Before speaking at an event, I stand in front of a mirror and strike a power pose, embodying confidence and charisma. This practice allows me to consciously step into a chosen way of being—whether that’s a leader, an expert, or a fearless communicator.
Many of us focus on our limitations because we’ve been conditioned to. One helpful technique is self-distancing—giving your shadow self a name. This creates separation between your true essence and the limiting beliefs that hold you back.
Think of a character—real or fictional—that embodies qualities you need. Before your next meeting, visualize how they would act. Step into that energy and let it guide you. Try it and see how it shifts your presence.
2. See Yourself Through the Eyes of Others
Years ago, I took a personal transformation course that required me to interview people about how they saw me. It was uncomfortable, but the responses were eye-opening. People viewed me far more positively than I saw myself.
To combat self-doubt, try this: ask colleagues, mentors, or close friends for feedback on your strengths. Or simply take a moment to imagine how someone who admires you sees you. This shift in perspective can disrupt negative self-talk and build confidence.
3. Tune Out Uninformed Feedback
Constructive feedback is invaluable—always seek it out. But not all feedback is useful. If you’re in a leadership role or a visible position, you’ll encounter opinions that are unhelpful or misinformed.
When receiving feedback, ask yourself:
- Is this a recurring theme or a one-off comment?
- Does it offer an opportunity for growth, or does it shut me down?
- Is this coming from someone I respect and trust?
Remember, feedback is just an opinion. Acknowledge it, filter it, and apply only what serves your growth. Never personalize it.
4. Reframe Your Self-Talk
Your thoughts shape your reality. Most of us have an inner dialogue that’s unconsciously negative, reinforcing self-doubt and keeping us stuck.
The good news? You can rewrite the script. When negative self-talk arises, pause and challenge it:
- Would I say this to a friend?
- Is this thought based on facts or assumptions?
- What’s a more empowering way to view this situation?
Shifting your internal dialogue is a game-changer. Instead of “I’m not good enough,” try “I’m learning and improving every day.” With practice, you’ll train your mind to support your success rather than sabotage it.
Final Thoughts
Everyone experiences self-doubt. Ironically, the most competent and self-aware people are often the ones most affected by it. But remember: these doubts exist only in your mind—and you have the power to shift them.
By choosing empowering perspectives, gaining outside perspective, filtering feedback, and mastering your self-talk, you’ll stop second-guessing yourself and start taking bold, decisive action.
The world needs your best self. Are you ready to step into it?
There’s something I’ve noticed time and time again in leadership & in life—our integrity is often “out”, and let’s be honest, as human beings, we are always out of integrity somewhere in our life.
Integrity isn’t a once-and-done achievement; it’s something you have to continually work at. The more out of integrity you are, the less powerful you are in life and leadership. Your word, literally has no power.
The Integrity Levels and Leaks
I’ve written before about the four integrity leaks and the four levels before. These frameworks help us understand where we stand, comparatively, to where we want to be as a person and hence, what we need to do to course-correct.
Levels of Integrity: There are different levels of integrity, that you can choose to live your life from; each level up, becomes more powerful, so much so that if you say chair, a chair drops out of your mouth, so to speak. What I mean is that when you declare something, people know you to be someone who will manifest that something into being.
In distinguishing these levels, you now have choice about where you want to live from. This is not a question of morality; no one level is more right than another and it is not about judging someone else as less than. It is a question of choice. Who do you choose to be and what sort of life do you choose to live. When you bring awareness to something, you can now choose to be something else. Whatever, you choose!
Sometimes, in life, I find myself at Level 1—barely keeping my promises. Life happens right? Other times, I push myself, doing the hard work to reach a place where my values, words, and actions align completely, with my purpose. This is the real work of leadership and being a role model with influence. So let’s take a look at the 4 levels of integrity:
- Level 1: Promises. Keeping your promises and commitments. Although sometimes life happens and you can’t.
- Level 2: Honor. Keeping your promises but honoring your word. Giving the words that come out of your mouth; honor. So even when you can’t keep your promises, you don’t sweep it under the table, you go to that person and you clean up and then re-establish a new commitment. You are authentic about where you dropped the ball.
- Level 3: Alignment. Keeping your promises and honoring your word. Giving the words that come out of your mouth; honor. So even when you can’t keep your promises, you don’t sweep it under the table, you go to that person and you clean up and then re-establish a new commitment through authenticity. Living your life where your actions and words line up. There is alignment in what you say and what you do. You take action.
- Level 4: Purpose. Keeping your promises and honoring your word. Giving the words that come out of your mouth; honor. So even when you can’t keep your promises, you don’t sweep it under the table, you go to that person and you clean up and then re-establish a new commitment through authenticity. Living your life where your values, actions, words and purpose all line up. There is alignment in what you say and what you do. You take action. However now it is towards a greater purpose, in alignment with a set of values you live from. You make a stand in life about who you want to be and the direction you want to take your life towards.
Integrity Leaks:These are the small yet impactful ways we erode our own power. Missed commitments, unspoken truths, cutting corners—each of these diminishes our trustworthiness and effectiveness. So what are the 4 leaks:
- Breaking commitments & promises
- Not taking radical responsibility for your life, or taking on someone else’s responsibilities
- Not speaking your truth
- Not feeling what needs to be felt
These integrity leaks will shift you into catabolic energy, which is destructive, exhausting and disempowering. If you clean up these leaks and restore your integrity, you will shift into anabolic energy which is constructive and empowering. You will feel re-energized.
Integrity as a Practice
As a leadership coach, I don’t just talk about integrity—I choose to practice it daily. One of the most powerful exercises I use is writing an integrity list. This is an ongoing practice where I document everything I need, or want to do—or even aspire to do—to push myself further as a human being. It’s a way of holding myself accountable, of making sure my actions align with my purpose.
As mentioned, at times, my integrity spirals out of control. I get busy. I overcommit. I let things slip. I become aware of this and then I have to reset. I go back to my list, examine where I’ve fallen short, I clean up and recommit to the practice of integrity. Because that’s exactly what it is—a practice.
The Power of Honoring Your Word
One of the most transformative insights I’ve gained from is this: your word literally creates your world. Your word is not just something you throw around—it is the foundation of trust, credibility, and impact. It literally creates the context within which you live your life. You can choose something empowering, or something destructive and fear based. The choice is yours. Inside of that context, when you honor your word, you build power. When you fail to honor it, your influence diminishes.
Accountability is the glue that holds integrity together. It’s not just about personal discipline—it’s about creating structures that help you stay on track. Whether it’s writing an integrity list, having an accountability partner, or setting clear non-negotiables, the more you actively work on integrity, the more powerful you become. The more energized and motivated you also become. Having incomplete activities and promises in your life is literally energy draining. So where do you need to clean up your integrity?
Where Are You Out of Integrity?
In writing this article, I challenge you and myself, to take a hard look at our integrity. Where are your leaks? Where are you falling short of your values, your commitments, and your best self? Write an integrity list. Take stock. And then do the work. Because true leadership—true power—comes from aligning your words, your values, and your actions with your stated purpose, every single day.
So which level of integrity do you choose to live your life from? Do you also bounce between different levels? Do you see these 4 levels at play in your life?
