As we embrace the spirit of Easter, a season synonymous with rebirth and the promise of new beginnings, our blog this week takes us into the realms of leadership, coaching, and the profound impact we can have on others by being of service to them as a leader. In the glow of this season, let's explore the delicate dance between coaching and managing, unlocking the potential within our teams and aligning with my second rule of leadership: "It's not about you, it's about OTHERS!"
Coaching vs. Managing: A Leadership Dance
Coaching is a transformative and collaborative process designed to unlock an individual's potential and facilitate their journey towards personal and professional growth. Rooted in active listening, strategic open questioning, and constructive feedback, coaching empowers individuals to explore their aspirations, overcome obstacles, and set meaningful goals. Unlike traditional forms of management, coaching focuses on drawing out solutions from within the coachee, rather than the manager telling them the answer or how to do it. This fosters self-discovery, empowerment and accountability. It is a dynamic relationship built on trust and mutual respect, where the coach acts as a guide, catalyst, and motivator, guiding individuals toward their desired outcomes. Through a series of purposeful conversations and goal-setting, coaching creates a supportive environment that propels individuals to leverage their strengths, navigate challenges, and achieve sustainable success in various facets of life.
1. Managing: A Guiding Hand
- Managers focus on tasks, processes, and ensuring that things run smoothly.
- It's akin to tending to the garden, ensuring each flower receives the right amount of water and sunlight.
2. Coaching: Nurturing Potential
- Coaches delve into the individual growth of team members, fostering their unique potential.
- Picture a gardener, cultivating an environment where each seedling has the opportunity to flourish.
The Second Rule of Leadership: It's about OTHERS!
In the spirit of Easter, we reflect on the significance of selflessness and the beauty of supporting others on their journey. The second rule of leadership encapsulates this sentiment – it's not about you; it's about OTHERS! Being of service to others, contributing to their growth, listening to their inner world and needs, has you become a better leader, that builds a culture that is experienced as psychologically safe, thereby enabling others to be their best, most authentic selves.
1. Lighting the Path:
- Easter signifies a time of illumination, a beacon of hope and light at the end of the tunnel.
- As leaders, we play a pivotal role in being that guiding light for our team members, helping them navigate their paths, grow and give their best
2. Unleashing Potential:
- Coaching becomes the instrument through which we unlock the potential within each team member.
- Just as Easter marks a season of rebirth, coaching empowers individuals to shed old limitations and step into their full potential.
3. The Joy of Nurturing:
- Similar to the joy of watching flowers bloom, there's immense satisfaction in witnessing the growth and success of those we coach.
- The second rule of leadership flourishes as we dedicate ourselves to the growth and well-being of others.
- Taking the focus off ourselves and placing it on others, opens the door to our own happiness and satisfaction.
Steps to Coaching Excellence: Illuminating the Journey
1. Active Listening:
- Tune into the aspirations and challenges of your team, along with each individuals inner life
- Provide a safe space for them to express their goals and concerns.
- Use your 1/1's to do this.
2. Empowerment Through Feedback:
- Feedback is a gift, you should always offer both kudos and constructive feedback. Individuals growth accelerates with feedback.
- Offer constructive feedback that empowers rather than discourages. Learn how to do it well
- Illuminate areas for improvement as stepping stones toward their vision. You need to understand their vision first.
3. Vision-Centric Coaching:
- Align coaching conversations with the individuals overarching vision.
- Help individuals see the light at the end of the tunnel as they take steps toward their goals.
- Use SMART goals and accountability structures to keep them on that path towards their vision
4. Celebrate Growth:
- In the spirit of Easter joy, celebrate the growth and achievements of your team, business or life with others
- Create a culture that embraces milestones and recognizes individual successes.
Conclusion: A Season of Growth and Light
As Easter whispers tales of renewal, let us, as leaders, embrace the art of coaching – an act of selflessness and support that aligns seamlessly with the second rule: "It's not about you, it's about OTHERS!" Like a gardener cultivating a vibrant garden, let us nurture the potential within our teams, within our business and within our lives, illuminating the path to success and growth. In this season of rebirth, may our coaching efforts become the light that guides each team member toward the brilliance of their envisioned future.
Happy Easter!
Reach out to me directly if you want some coaching on this for you, your life, career, business or family. I am a licensed coach with 20+ years experience in leadership, in New York, Silicon Valley, Los Angeles, London & Sydney.
Visit Transformative Visions Website to purchase and book coaching: [www.transformativevisions.com
Blog Series Sign up: [https://attractwell.com/SuzanneBolton]
In the intricate tapestry of the mind, our thoughts weave the narratives that shape our perception, behavior, and overall well-being. This week, we delve into the profound insights from a study conducted by Dr. Robert Kleck at Dartmouth College, unraveling the power of the mind and how what you expect to see, you will. Let's explore the intricacies, details and results of the study, and most importantly, how this knowledge can empower us to reshape our beliefs for transformative outcomes.
The Victim Mindset Unveiled:
For clarification I want to outline what the victim mindset is, versus being a victim. The victim mindset evolves into a habitual pattern of thinking marked by helplessness, blame, and a lack of personal responsibility. It is the lens through which individuals perceive themselves as perpetual victims, attributing failures and negative experiences to external factors beyond their control. It can often stem from being a victim as a result of trauma, but often it is an ancestral inherited pattern of thinking that has not been consciously deconstructed and identified as to whether it works or not.
Dr. Robert E Kleck's Study
Objective
The objective of this study was to explore how much males and females were disturbed by defects in their own and other person's facial appearance and the impact they believed it would have on their social outcomes and relationships.
Research Design:
- Participants (27 male, 21 female) were told that the experiment was meant to observe if people behaved differently towards those with facial scars.
- Participants were placed into rooms with no mirrors
- A make-up artist proceeded to add a scar to their faces
- After the scar was drawn, participants were given a short glimpse of it with a pocket mirror.
- Participants were then invited to leave the room and interact with folks in the building.
- Before they left the room, the make-up artist told the participants that the scar needed some final touch-ups, but, what the make-up artist actually did was to take off the scar.
- Participants left the room thinking they still wore a make-up scar.
Key Findings:
- They overwhelmingly reported back that people stared at their scars and were mean and rude to them.
- They expected social consequences to be negative and severe
- They had negative emotional responses to disfigurement when they saw others disfigurement
- They expected facial disfigurements to have important consequences for social interaction
- They used the non verbal dimensions of interactive behaviour, particularly gaze patterns were used for interpretation
- Men responded with saying they found it humorous or silly, while women responded with distress, fright or disgust.
- If we expect others to react negatively to some aspect of our physical appearance, there is little others can do to prevent us from confirming our expectation, how frequently and how long someone looks at you, confirms to you that they are looking at the disfigurement; this becomes data for that interpretation. Essentially, ANY gaze pattern becomes evidence. For the subjects who thought they had the scar, they believed they were being discriminated against because of their interpretations of the gaze patterns they saw.
Unpacking the Results
This points to the fact that what you believe to be true, you will see, hear, find or create it, in your external reality. You always find evidence for what you are looking for, hence it is so important to go inwards as a leader and clean up your thoughts, identifying your GRAILS and move you out of a fixed, or even victim mindset, towards a positive or growth mindset. Individuals with a strong victim mindset, exhibit a consistent pattern of externalising blame with a heightened sense of helplessness, so they end up being at the EFFECT of something, rather than being CAUSE in the matter of their lives. Change your mindset, you change everything in your life. Having a vision is important too as it is the context, for which the content of your life; actions, thoughts being, all work towards. Not having a vision means you will literally just be reacting to anything that comes your way.
Empowering Change: Shifting Your Mindset
1. Self-Awareness:
- Acknowledge and identify moments where your GRAILS are running the ship of your life
- Reflect on specific situations triggering these patterns of thinking.
2. Ownership and Responsibility:
- Embrace personal responsibility for your thoughts, actions, and outcomes.
- Recognize the power of choice in shaping your responses to challenges.
3. Reframe Negative Narratives:
- Challenge negative thoughts and beliefs
- Actively reframe situations to highlight personal agency and empowerment.
4. Cultivate Resilience:
- Develop resilience by viewing challenges as opportunities for growth.
- Foster a mindset that sees setbacks as temporary and learnable experiences.
5. Identify a Vision:
- Work on a vision for your life, business or career; this gives your life context and direction
- Challenge your GRAILS until they line up with the Vision
- FInd your BIG ENOUGH why, as this will keep you committed and motivated
Conclusion: Empowerment through Awareness
In the realm of the mind, awareness serves as the first beacon of change. Dr. Robert Kleck's study unravels the intricate dance between our thoughts and its impact on shaping our reality. Armed with this knowledge, we have the power to reshape our beliefs, break free from the shackles of victimhood, and forge a path of empowerment. As we cultivate resilience, embrace responsibility, and actively reframe our narratives, we navigate towards a mindset that propels us to transformative outcomes. Remember, the power of the mind is within your grasp – wield it consciously and shape a narrative of empowerment and growth.
Visit Transformative Visions Website to purchase and book coaching: [www.transformativevisions.com]
Blog Series Sign up: [https://attractwell.com/SuzanneBolton]
In a study conducted by Harvard in 1979, it was found that goal setting and planning significantly impact the attainment of success. The study followed MBA students over a 10 year period and revealed astonishing results. Surprisingly, 84% of the students had set no goals at all, while another 13% had written goals without concrete plans. However, the real game-changer was the mere 3% of students who not only had written goals but also concrete high level plans to achieve them.
Fast forward ten years, and the outcome was remarkable. The 13% with written goals were making twice as much money as the 84% without goals, while the 3% with goals and plans were making an astonishing ten times as much as 97% of the class. This study's findings reinforce the importance of setting clear objectives and developing a strategic plan to turn vision into reality.
While the Harvard study remains a great exploration of the link between goals and success, it is not the only evidence supporting the transformative impact of goal setting. A study by Statistic Brain reveals that individuals who set clear, written goals are 50% more likely to achieve them compared to those who have no specific goals.
What is a Vision?
A vision transcends mere goals; it's a vivid mental image of the future you aspire to create. It acts as a magnetic force, pulling you towards a life that aligns with your deepest desires and values. Your vision fuels motivation during challenges. A well-defined vision serves as a compass, guiding strategic goal-setting.
3 Rules of Leadership
When thinking about the 3 rules of Leadership below, a vision and goal setting is very much about rule 3: It's not about you or others, it's about the Vision that you and others deliver on! However, to deliver on a vision, you need to identify the big strategic goals and your operational goals that sit under them, your roadmap. Only then can you focus and align around the direction the vision identifies.
- 1. It's all about YOU!
- 2. It's not about you, it's about OTHERS!
- 3. It's not about you or others, It's about the vision!
The Importance of Goal Setting and Planning
Once you have a vision, you need to do the work to identify the strategic goals, you can do that in a myriad of ways, as a product person, you want to know the problems and opportunities that are going on in the market, with the end user and with the problem so that you can leverage those to write your strategic goals. Really important to do the research to enable identifying a strategic goal. For an individual in life, I would use a different approach and have you think about the future; 2-5 years and no more. What does that future look like, what are you doing, where are you working, what does the environment look like, any smells, sounds, tastes, etc. Then looking back from that future to today, what were the BIG milestones, or steps you took to get you to that future. Once you have identified those, you can prioritise and start to work on one goal only. Break that goal up into small actional steps and set up some timelines for them.
This becomes your plan and as you take action towards that vision, the plan clarifies more and more. You need to take action to get clarity. Remember, if you want to achieve something in life, business or career, having a vision, setting some goals and taking small actions will make a significant difference, not only to your earnings as mentioned in the study above, but also in terms of your own personal satisfaction and accomplishments. There is no better way to build a happy, strong sense of self then by realising a vision you might have! It will also help you to:
- Clarity Breeds Success:
- Goal setting provides clarity, helping individuals define their aspirations with precision.
- Concrete plans transform vague ideas into actionable steps, creating a roadmap towards success.
- Motivation and Focus:
- Written goals serve as a constant source of motivation, reminding individuals of their purpose.
- Concrete plans act as a compass, keeping individuals focused on the necessary steps to reach their objectives.
- Measurable Progress:
- Setting goals with clear metrics enables individuals to track their progress.
- Concrete plans provide benchmarks, allowing for adjustments and optimizations along the journey.
- Overcoming Challenges:
- Goals and plans serve as a resilience tool, helping individuals navigate challenges with a clear strategy in mind.
- A well-defined vision becomes a source of strength during setbacks, fostering determination and perseverance.
- Reactivity Reduction:
- Goals serve as a focusing factor and anything apart from those goals start to be less of a priority
- You stop reacting to everything that comes along, because you have focus
Conclusion
The Harvard study laid bare the undeniable connection between goal setting, planning, and unprecedented success. As a leadership coach, I've witnessed firsthand the transformative power of guiding individuals towards setting clear, written goals and creating actionable plans. The key is not merely to dream but to translate those dreams into tangible objectives and strategies. Your vision is within reach – all it takes is a clear goal and a solid plan to turn that vision into reality. The statistics speak for themselves; are you ready to harness the power of having a vision and setting goals for your journey towards success.
Reach out to me directly if you want some coaching on this for you, your life, career, business or family. I am a licensed coach with 20+ years experience in leadership, in New York, Silicon Valley, Los Angeles, London & Sydney.
Visit Transformative Visions Website to purchase and book coaching: [www.transformativevisions.com
Blog Series Sign up: [https://attractwell.com/SuzanneBolton]
Introduction
As we stand at the beginning of a new year, many of us have made resolutions to change our lives for the better. However, experience has shown that traditional New Year's resolutions often fall by the wayside within weeks. Why is that? The answer lies in the fundamental difference between resolutions and visions. In this blog, I'll explore why resolutions don't work and how embracing a clear vision can set you on the path to creating a new and improved version of yourself.
The Pitfalls of Resolutions:
Resolutions are often short-lived because they lack the depth and substance needed for sustained change. They're often framed as a list of do's and don'ts without a clear roadmap or purpose. Without a compelling vision, resolutions become mere wishes, easily abandoned when faced with challenges, or just forgotten. Examples of some New Year's Resolutions are:
- Exercise at least three times a week to improve overall fitness.
- Read a new book every month to expand knowledge and perspective.
- Get enough sleep each night to promote overall well-being.
- Create and stick to a monthly budget to save more money.
These read more as action items, but what is missing is the BIG ENOUGH WHY and that is where visions can help.
What is a Vision?
A vision is a vivid, inspiring mental image of what you want your future to look like. It's a destination, a guiding light that illuminates the path ahead. Unlike resolutions, a vision taps into your deeper motivations and aspirations, by providing a more profound sense of purpose. Without a vision in your life, organisation product or team, you are floating around reacting to whatever life dishes out. With a Vision, you are declaring what it is you want and why, you are putting that stake in the ground to do so. It creates a directions and brings about alignment. Alignment in the organisation, alignment in your life, alignment with the universe.
Identifying Your Vision:
To create a vision, start by reflecting on your core values, passions, and long-term goals in the different areas of your life. Ask yourself: What kind of person do I want to become? What legacy do I want to leave? What do I want to achieve? Your vision should align with your authentic self, serving as a compass for decision-making and goal-setting. When you live a life of alignment between your values, vision, words and actions, that is a life of integrity and one that has power to manifest anything. So what are some of the areas of life that you can consider, well, I have listed options for you below:
- Finances & Wealth - identifying what you need to live well, for yourself, your family, your business, savings, retirement, home, etc
- Career & Professional Development - setting goals and defining your PATH forward, being in action about that and being deliberate
- Health, Wellbeing & Fitness - focus on physical, mental and emotional health, on increasing your health span, not just my lifespan; what do you need to do to support that
- Social, Recreation & Leisure - activities & hobbies that bring relaxation, e.g reading, chatting to friends, dinners
- Relationships & Family - envisioning a fulfilling and harmonious relationships with others, or a significant other; how can you get better, what can you do to make others lives better? How can you take the focus away from you and be "of service to others"
- Personal Growth & Learning - goals for personal development; what are you doing to continue to learn, grow and have your boundaries expanded in relationship to growth
- Spirituality & Mindfulness - spending time exploring your beliefs, values & practices, choosing empowering contexts for your life, being conscious
- Contribution & Service - considering how you can make an impact on others and give back, leave a legacy, etc
- Home & Environment - envisioning the ideal living space and creating a peaceful environment
- Personal Relationships - focusing on personal growth, self awareness, & healthy relationships with oneself
- Fun & Adventure - embracing spontaneity, new experiences & life's adventures, doing different things to stimulate the brain
- Environment & Sustainability - setting goals for promoting ecological responsibility such as reuse & recycle
- Business (team or organisation) - focusing on building and growing a business, a team and taking it to that next level. Look at the entirety of the business; what do you want the culture to look like, the leadership, the office, the systems, the strategy etc. Give it real depth
- Product - focusing on where you want to take your product and what opportunities or pain points to leverage and focus on solving
Now when you are creating a vision you can't necessarily focus on everything all at once. What I like to do is focus on areas that I want to build up, that I feel a little unsatisfied with, be it in my life, career or business. Focus on 1-2 areas and you can then focus on the rest as you achieve those first few. Flesh the details out; what does it look like for you, if you were to achieve what you want. Paint that complete picture in detail!
Secondly, identify WHY you are wanting these things. For what bigger purpose. It is really important to identify this, as that becomes your BIG ENOUGH WHY. That will pull you forth into action when you don't want to. Do you want to leave a legacy for your family? Do you want to create a business to bring awakening to the sleeping masses? Do you want to create a product that solves users problems in a certain way. What is that big enough why that will drive you forward?
The Importance of a Vision:
A well-defined vision serves as a source of motivation during challenging times. It acts as a North Star, helping you navigate through the inevitable obstacles and setbacks. When your actions are aligned with your vision, you are more likely to stay committed, resilient, and focused on your journey of self-improvement. Critical is that you can visualise what it is that you are creating. You can see it in your minds eye. You can hear it, possibly taste and smell it, you are interacting with the vision. Visualisation of the vision is critical, because if you cannot visualise it, how will you know what to do to achieve it? It also forms the basis of manifestation meditations; more on that later.
The Vision-Realization Connection:
A vision provides clarity on where you want to go, but it's the intentional actions and habits that bridge the gap between vision and reality. Break down your vision into actionable steps, set realistic milestones, and celebrate your achievements along the way. Consistent progress, no matter how small, fuels the momentum needed for lasting change. If you see yourself in that vision, let's say 2 years from now, look back to today and identify everything you needed to do to get to that future. What are big milestones, or steps you took to get there? Then prioritise those. As you start to take action on those steps, more and more actions will be revealed for you to prioritise and take.
MINDSET
The other thing worth mentioning is about cultivating a positive mindset; on that focuses on possibility and growth. You will be stopped by your own Gremlin and its limiting beliefs, these will come up for you, because you are human. So the practice here is identifying your limiting beliefs and then doing the work to create new ones. More on that in a separate blog.
Creating the New You:
By embracing a vision-driven approach, you're not merely setting goals; you're transforming yourself, your business, your product, your career, your life. Your vision becomes the catalyst for personal growth, pushing you to expand your capabilities, overcome challenges, and unlock your full potential. The process of creating a new you is ongoing, fueled by a vision that evolves as you do.
Conclusion:
As we embark on this new year in 2024, resist the temptation to set fleeting resolutions. Instead, invest your time in crafting a compelling vision that will guide and inspire you throughout the journey. The power to create a new you lies within the clarity and purpose that a well-defined vision provides. Embrace the transformative potential of a vision, and make 2024 the year you unlock your truest, most empowered self.
Reach out to me directly if you want some coaching on this for you, your life, career, business or family. I am a licensed coach with 20+ years experience in leadership, in New York, Silicon Valley, Los Angeles, London & Sydney.
Reach out to me directly if you want some coaching on this for you, your life, career, business or family. I am a licensed coach with 20+ years experience in leadership, in New York, Silicon Valley, Los Angeles, London & Sydney.
Visit Transformative Visions Website to purchase and book coaching: [www.transformativevisions.com
Blog Series Sign up: [https://attractwell.com/SuzanneBolton]
