What if I’m not cut out for this?
What if I’ll never stop doing this thing that I hate?
Why do I always feel weak?
Unworthy..
Not enough
That rock sitting behind your upper stomach that sinks deeper when asking yourself these questions is not a sign that they are the truth…
It is revealing to you how shame has become a controlling spirit in your life.
My Story
For most of my life, shame lorded over my thoughts, my feelings about myself, and my actions. I was so ashamed of my body that I over-exercised. And when my body didn’t meet the high expectations for perfection that I demanded of it, I reached for food for comfort to quiet the negative body image thoughts.
But after eating large amounts of food in short periods of time to feel better, shame would once again torment me. Making me feel disgusted with the over-consumption of food, causing me to seek for more and new ways to control my body size.
This shame cycle perpetuated for my teens and almost all of my twenties and it was not just a war with my body…
I lived in fear that others were thinking the same things about me that I thought about myself.
That I was weak. That I was unworthy. That I wasn’t enough.
The Truth About the Spirit of Shame
Shame doesn’t just come at us about our body size, it comes after every aspect of your life.
→ It will keep you from exercising for fear of failure or other people seeing you try.
→ It will keep you from eating healthy because you anticipate not being able to stick with the diet and want to avoid the shame of not succeeding.
→ Shame will keep you from living in your purpose because how could you ever accomplish that big vision God gave you?
→ Shame will keep you from stepping inside the church for fear of relationships and judgment.
→ It will keep you from reading your Bible for fear of the sin in your life being exposed.
→ It will keep you from praying and connecting to God, your source of peace, for the fear that He thinks the same things you think about yourself.
Key point: He does not. He smiles upon you. Even in your mess, even in your sin, even in your brokenness, He looks at you with the deepest desire for intimacy and closeness. Shame is what is keeping you from experiencing His deep, affectionate love for you.
The spirit of shame makes you believe there is something wrong with you. And at its height, it becomes so engrained in you that you believe it is part of your personality.
“This is just who I am”. Shyness, perfectionism, withdrawn, people-pleasing, quick to self-deprecate, low self-esteem.
It has caused you to shrink yourself.
It silences your voice.
Makes you fearful of being seen.
Unable to express yourself.
Living with a deep fear of being found out to be an imposter so that you do not make a move toward what God has for you.
You learned in early childhood to depend on shame for motivation because of the bullying or criticism you endured. It’s become the only way you feel motivated.
The motivation is to avoid shame at all costs.
The Shame Cycle Explained
Many people struggling under the effects of shame will hide. While others will continue to perpetuate the shame cycle because oddly enough, feeling negatively about yourself has become a comfort.
Negative self-talk releases the stress-response hormone, cortisol, and your brain can become addicted to the familiarity of that stress. So in a way, causing yourself to experience stress due to negative self-talk gives you a sense of control because you are dictating the narrative about who you are, and feeding your body’s addiction to cortisol even if it’s twisted.
So just like the high expectations that were set for you when you were young, you’ve continued to set high expectations for yourself so that when those expectations cannot be reached, you feel like a failure. Therefore, validating the shame you have always felt.
All of which feeds the ever increasing fear that others view you the same way you view yourself…
Weak.
Unworthy.
Not enough.
Out of a desire to not feel shame from failure, you never try.
But because you never try, you feel shame.
Here is the Good News
Shame is not from God. It is a tormenting spirit that is keeping you struggling silently and blocking you from being able to fully express who you are in God. It has access to you through a heart wound that needs healing. Thank the Lord that Jesus Christ is the healer of wounded hearts.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3.
Isn't it just like the devil to attack your beliefs about who you are, your identity?
But here’s the thing, the devil is actually powerless.
Jesus Christ conquered the grave and He gave you the same authority that God gave Him in that moment.
He And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in heavenly realms in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:6.
You are a daughter of GOD.
You are royalty.
You are seated with Jesus.
But you are relinquishing your authority to a slithering serpent.
No more! He is a liar. He has no power.
The devil can cast accusations all day long but it is our agreement with those accusations that give them power.
So how do we actually exercise that power?
Break agreement with the lies in the spiritual realm and come into agreement with the word of God.
For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5.
Your weapons are the Word, worship, and using your audible voice in prayer, proclamation, and declaration.
Practice now by saying this out loud:
Lord, I break agreement with the lie shame is speaking to me saying “I’m not good enough”. I receive the truth that your Word says “I am your Holy, chosen people. I am royalty, seated with Jesus. I am your special possession. I have been called out of darkness and into wonderful light.” (1 Peter 2:9)
Lord, I break agreement with the lie shame is speaking to me saying “I can’t do it.” I receive the truth that your Word says “Your strength and power are made perfect in my weakness. I cannot do this without you, but your grace is sufficient for me.”( 2 Corinthians 12:9)
Lord, I break agreement with the lie shame is speaking to me saying “I’m not worthy.” I receive the truth that your Word says “You saved me. You caused me to believe. You chose to bring me to yourself. You prepared this work for me to do before I was born, and you will be faithful to help me complete it. Have your way with me.” ( Ephesians 2:8-10)
Transformation
The devil has had territory over your life for many years now, so if simply declaring and praying these truths does not feel like enough, that's okay. Jesus needs permission to do some excavation on those heart wounds, uprooting wrong patterns of thinking and wrong beliefs. If you’re truly wanting the freedom that Jesus promises, you will need strong Christian counsel & guided prayers through deliverance.
⭐️ You can ask leaders at your local church to pair you with a mentor. If you can't find someone in-person, search online for deliverance ministries.
✴️ And if you are specifically ready to tackle the shame that the enemy has been using to keep you from living in your purpose and in an unhealthy relationship with health & fitness, I offer a free coaching call to all my first time clients.
It is my joy to offer this call because every time, a woman is set free from shame and she feels the Holy Spirit presence of God so heavily that hope is restored. Do not let fear of finances, fear of judgement, or fear of exposure keep you from booking this call.
Shame breeds in the dark, it’s time to shine light on the heart wounds so that the Lord can set you free.
Testimonials
“I booked this call because I was just struggling to feed myself properly and thought you could help me get motivated. But I’m going to cancel my therapy appointments right now to sign up with you. I’ve gotten more freedom in 45 minutes on this call than I have in 6 weeks of therapy. And we didn’t even talk about food yet” - Michelle
“I wasn’t expecting to cry, I didn’t think it was that deep. But the enemy has really been lying to me about my body and it’s kept me frustrated and in unbelief. I feel so much lighter right now. Thank you for doing this.” - Laura
“I knew I forgave the people who wronged me, but I didn’t realize how much unforgiveness I have been harboring against myself. Releasing that, I felt the pit in my stomach dissolve and a literal body high. It makes me sad how long I’ve been carrying that shame, but I’m so glad I’ve gotten to work with you to let it go.” - Amanda
❇️ And if you are local to the Central Coast, be sure to sign up for my in-person event: PERMISSION TO PLAY.
Get your ticket FREE by booking a quick chat with me before September 1st.
9 spots remaining *updated 8/19
With all my love and sincere belief that you are worthy, loved, and here for a reason,
🩵 Briana
0 Comments