Do you ever get embarrassed about so-called "failures" in your past? About those supposed bad decisions that sidetracked you from the straight-line trajectory of your peers? Do you ever think it's too late to start a new endeavour because you're over 35? Or 55 or 75? I think there's something in many of us that feels pressure to do the same thing for twenty years, and when we don't, we feel strange and weird. My own journey has been circuitous. My first job was as a chambermaid at a hotel. I was terrible at it and quit after a week. I've worked as a telephone salesperson, market research recruiter, and front desk clerk. At age 25, I went back to school to become a teacher. I taught for several years but kept leaving the classroom to go back into business. Presently, I work part-time as a teacher and very part-time as a coach. I don't know anyone in my immediate circles whose path has been as crooked as mine.
This week, my employer asked for a resume for the human resources file, and the old embarrassment crept in. How do I explain my various different jobs when most of my colleagues have worked at this one place for ten, twenty, or thirty years? Where on my resume do I put "getting a business going?" I started to question my choices and wished for a moment that my life history was less complicated and more straightforward. Like everyone else's.
But is everyone else's path really as perfect as I imagine? A wise friend named Vera once told me that everyone has their time of struggle, but we don't know about them because we may meet them during their sunny days. The beautiful, popular cheerleader in high school ends up in an abusive marriage and starts drinking. The poor boy with a dirty shirt ends up excelling in his business and becoming a boss to hundreds. We don't know anyone's entire story. Only God does.
So, I have to remember that the only perfect life that I need to live up to is the life of Jesus. All the rest of us have a flawed history. My story is messy: I've done a lot of pivots and taken many strange turns. I've tried things, changed my mind and then tried them again. I've gone from business to teaching to business and teaching again. Now, I do both. My resume is very different than most but I am not living my life to impress a human resources manager. I am living to impress Him.
Unspoken social pressure to conform can stop us in our tracks if we let it. No one is directly dictating that we have to follow the path of our peers, but we notice the puzzled looks when we try to explain our "abnormalness." So we hide because you don't want the messiness to be seen.
So, I wanted to share this little life lesson to introduce the fact that I am making another pivot with this blog and this business. I am going to start talking about other things besides marriage, and I am putting my name, Sharilee Swaity, on the top of the blog. A rebrand, if you will, to include more of who I am. If this resonates with you, I'd love for you to follow me. If not, find someone you do resonate with. I need to be more authentic in sharing my unique voice so those who have similar views will see it and benefit.
I will still talk about marriage but will also share other things that I am learning: my weight loss journey, faith, and lessons from nature. My business will expand, too. I still want to help couples in remarriage, but I can also coach women looking for clarity in their lives and help them find their voice. I would love to assist writers who need help getting their book started. As I help those whose journey is somewhat parallel to mine, I will continue to share my learnings around different topics here on this blog and in other places. I would love it if you joined me because you think you might learn something.
I hope you can learn from me today that it's never too late to make a change in your life to pursue new interests. There is no "life-path police officer" who can look down and make a judgment that we've had too many turns and must now stick to the same thing for the rest of our lives. There is no deadline for new endeavours, like, hey, I just turned 45, and that's it for adventures. Finito!
Let's start accepting that growth requires change that others may not understand. Let's stop being embarrassed and letting the enemy of our souls steal our joy with envy and insecurity. Let's embrace our messy journey for what it is: uniquely ours. Let's allow ourselves to change our minds without impunity, and make mistakes without a feeling a need to explain it to our critics.
For now, for me, it starts with re-branding again. I have been stuck for years, thinking I had to match my decisions today with the ones I made five years ago. But I forgot to factor in that I have changed, and therefore, so must my writing and my business. I'm excited!
Can you relate? Share below if this message encouraged you.
Can you relate? Share below if this message encouraged you.
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Have you ever wondered what makes some second marriages so successful, while others are not so much? Well, today, we are talking to Patricia Bubash M.Ed., author of [easyazon_link identifier=”1589095634″ locale=”US” tag=”recommended0cb-20″]Successful Second Marriages[/easyazon_link]. Her book delves deeply into that very topic and focuses on the stories of couples who were very successful in their second marriages.
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