After spending a few years at Netflix I truly believe that at the heart of any successful product org, lies a strong, explicit, LIVING culture!
So what exactly is an org culture? It is defined as a set of shared values, beliefs, and practices that guide how a team operates, so how I tend to think about it, is that it is a strategic context within which performance and strategic thinking might, or might not occur. I also believe that culture is a series of conversations amongst individuals and teams, that give life to the culture.
This is done through leaders role modeling or having continual conversations with individuals and teams. A culture does not exist as a set of values in HR documents, that you are on-boarded with, and then promptly forget. Just as building a thriving community requires trust, collaboration, and alignment around shared goals, so to does creating a powerful product culture, it relies on the same principles, in that you are deliberately fostering connection, creating space for innovation, and empowering individuals to contribute toward a collective vision. Drawing inspiration from books like Reed Hastings Rules, No Rules and Marty Cagan's Transformed, let's explore this a little further as I feel that this integral component, is often pushed to the side and not addressed, when moving teams to high performance product operating models.
Trust: The Foundation of Product Culture
In any community, trust is the glue that holds everything together. The same is true in product teams. Without trust, collaboration breaks down, and innovation stalls. One of the strongest messages in *No Rules Rules* is the importance of trust as the foundation for a high-performing culture. Hastings emphasizes that at Netflix, trust is cultivated through radical transparency and freedom. Employees are trusted to make decisions, take risks, and fail fast without micromanagement, or the fear of being penalized. At the very core of trust is integrity. Doing what you said you would, by when you said you would, in the manner you KNOW it should be done. In practising your word, your integrity stays intact, which then builds your reputation and fosters trust. In cultures such as Netflix they assume that you are trustworthy until there is evidence to the contrary. By assuming best intent in in people, most people will RISE to the opportunity as they will feel responsible to merit that trust. By instilling trust in others it helps them to become more trustworthy, according to Jim Collins in B.E 2.0. Trust is also the basis of psychological safety, which is made up of two types of trust (see image below) and you can't have psychological safety occur without both being present. Vulnerability based trust is being able to say what needs to be said without feeling like you will get persecuted, ridiculed, or deemed, being able to be authentic and honest, being able to admit when you did something wrong, without fear of job loss, or being ridiculed. Operational trust is your documented agreements; either your team agreements or your culture doc. It is the set of behaviours that are explicitly called out and expected in from each other, to which you hold each other to account, against. Feedback is always measured against it. Both of these build psychological safety and trust. The two work together.
This approach also appears in *Transformed*, where Marty Cagan discusses how successful product organizations create environments where people are trusted to OWN their work. Leaders step back and let teams take the lead, knowing that autonomy fosters creativity and engagement. By placing trust in the people closest to the work; designers, engineers, and product managers, you create a space where innovative solutions can emerge. The people that are closest to the product, closest to the customer, closest to the tech stack are always better suited to solve the problems as they have 100% understanding of the space. This is why empowering balanced product teams works.
In product culture, trust means giving teams the freedom to experiment, fail, and learn quickly. It also means being transparent with information and empowering individuals to act on it. Teams that are trusted to make decisions, will ultimately take greater ownership of their work, leading to stronger outcomes. The culture itself fosters this trust, empowerment and motivation. This is why it is so important to work on a "living" culture that is discussed and that feedback to individuals and teams, is aligned to.
Collaboration: Building Together
Much like a well-functioning community thrives on the contributions of its members, i.e., working together for a goal; a strong product culture is built through collaboration. In a community, everyone brings their unique skills and perspectives to contribute to the common good. We focus on individuals strengths, leaning into them, for the benefit of all. Similarly, in product teams, collaboration brings together diverse ideas that spark innovation. If you want better products, better solutions and stronger teams, then lean into debate and each others strengths. Your vision, strategy, discovery should all be debated by the team and key stakeholders and in doing so, you will build buy in, alignment and understanding. In the debate, you will more than likely see how unaligned everyone is, but as you debate, alignment starts to happen as you start to understand each others perspectives. At Netflix, we spent all our time debating about strategy, from there, the tactics worked themselves out if you aligned on strategy. I cannot stress how important it is to collaborate and debate together. Having deep stakeholder relationships, that are not transactional makes a difference and if you invite them and bring them along for the ride on the strategic aspects, everything will be smooth from there on in.
In the book *No Rules Rules*, Netflix encourages open debate. Hastings notes that the best ideas come from conflict; constructive, respectful disagreement that pushes people to think more deeply and creatively. Product culture should not shy away from disagreement. Instead, it should embrace it as part of the creative process. This level of collaboration ensures that the final product is a result of diverse, well-considered perspectives, rather than a single viewpoint. As a product manager you should facilitate and foster that debate; making sure that every voice is heard, that all opinions and data have been shared and then, once heard, you can make an informed decision; one that is an objective decision as you now have heard from all.
Marty Cagan emphasizes cross-functional collaboration as one of the keys to transforming product teams. He argues that the most successful organizations break down silos, ensuring that product, design, and engineering teams work closely together to solve problems. This isn’t just about communication; it’s about shared ownership of the product. When teams collaborate deeply, they move beyond individual roles and focus on the collective success of the product and the customer experience. I would also add that at certain points, in large enterprises especially, you will want your key stakeholders in the room debating with you. Each brings unique perspectives that should be understood, before testing, validating and building something.
Shared Values: Aligning Around a Common Vision
A strong community flourishes when its members are aligned around shared values and a common vision. In product teams, culture is often shaped by the values the organization holds dear. These values guide decision-making, behaviors, and the way the team approaches its work. Marty Cagan’s *Transformed* speaks to the importance of aligning teams around a product vision that everyone understands and believes in. When teams are connected to a clear purpose, they’re able to make better decisions and prioritize work that drives real impact. However, I do feel that can only happen if the culture itself promotes collaboration, trust and alignment around performance expectations.
Reed Hastings takes a similar approach in *No Rules Rules*, where Netflix’s culture is grounded in core principles that emphasize performance, candor, and freedom. These shared values, which at Netflix are expressed as expected behaviours in. a culture doc, create alignment across the organization, allowing employees to make decisions in line with the company’s overarching goals without the need for excessive rules or approval processes.
In product management, shared values act as a compass, helping teams navigate the complexities of building products in a fast-paced environment. When these values are lived and breathed by the team, they foster a sense of community and belonging. Everyone understands what’s important, what’s expected, and how they can contribute to the product’s success. Teams should take the time to explicitly call out what they expect from one another, in order to hold each other accountable against a baseline. This creates operational trust and through that, this establishes psychological safety.
Autonomy and Accountability: The Power of Freedom
An essential component of both *No Rules Rules* and *Transformed* is the idea that freedom and accountability must go hand in hand. Just as in a community where individuals have the freedom to pursue their own interests but are still accountable to the larger group, in product culture, autonomy is balanced by accountability.
At Netflix, Hastings created a culture of freedom by eliminating rules and procedures that stifle creativity. Instead, he gave employees the freedom to take risks, with the understanding that they would be held accountable for their results. This freedom empowers teams to act quickly and innovate, but it also requires a high level of personal responsibility to do good work. The culture doc was pretty explicit in what was expected and it was a culture that was written for performance and innovation; decisions were made fast, failure and learnings were gathered and we moved on with solutions, continually adapting as needed
In product culture, fostering autonomy means trusting teams to do what they do best without unnecessary oversight. However, autonomy should not be confused with a lack of structure. It’s important that teams are aligned on the goals and metrics that matter, so they can be accountable for delivering meaningful outcomes. That is why a good vision and strategy matters; it gives autonomy context and shape. It all starts with a Vision! That is your stake in the ground that sets direction, gathers buy-in and builds alignment.
Cultivating a Product Community
When we think of product culture as a community, we begin to see the importance of relationships, trust, and shared values in driving success. Relationships are not transactional; they are built over time and depends on the culture that shapes an environment through which trust, accountability and autonomy occurs and drives high performance, in order to deliver on vision & strategy. Like any strong community, product culture requires nurturing; it needs leaders who are committed to fostering collaboration, encouraging autonomy, and aligning teams around a shared vision. Reed Hastings’ emphasis on trust and freedom, offer a blueprint for building a culture that empowers teams to deliver exceptional products.
In the end, product culture isn’t just about how you build; it’s about how you come together as a community to create something greater than the sum of its parts. By fostering trust, collaboration, and shared values, you’re not just building a product, you’re building a culture where innovation, creativity, and collective success can thrive.
One last thing, no matter where in the world you are and what holidays you celebrate; I wish you all the best over the upcoming holiday period! We will be shutting down over this period and this is the last newsletter for the 2024. We will be back in 2025, starting the week of the 13th January. Enjoy the festivities and wishing you all the best in the New Year and remember, no new year resolutions, instead take the time to do a Vision, identify your goals and put a plan together; this always works better than resolutions do.
In the world of corporate jobs such as product management or leadership roles, technical expertise and strategic thinking are often considered the most crucial skills. Yet, one of the most important traits is often overlooked is emotional intelligence (EQ); or the ability to understand, manage, and effectively express emotions, both in oneself and in others. Emotional intelligence helps us connect as human beings, fostering more authentic relationships, and in doing so, elevating our ability to lead, collaborate, and grow.
The professional environment may encourage us to adopt a polished persona, but at the core, we remain human beings, all on a personal transformation journey of growth. By working on our emotional intelligence, we not only bring our best selves to our roles but also create environments where others feel empowered to do the same. This is especially important in today's corporate environments where toxicity and bad leadership are common. We ourselves need to identify if we are being toxic and by becoming aware of where and when we are being toxic, to make the decision to become a better leader, PM and hence person.
The big question though, is what is emotional intelligence, and why is it critical for product managers, leaders and others to understand?
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of others. It's also known as emotional quotient (EQ).
EI is an important skill that can help in many aspects of life, including: Personal growth, Relationships, School, and Work. Some benefits of high EI included better managing of negative emotions, handling stress & difficult situations calmly, showing empathy, communicating effectively and building positive relationships. Emotional intelligence is often divided into four key abilities:
Wherever cross-functional teams are common and collaboration is key, each of these components plays a critical role in order to foster strong relationships, empathy and connection. For leaders, EQ helps to inspire trust, navigate challenging situations, and empower teams to perform at their best. Without taking the time to think about your emotions, identify them, understand what your triggers are, how they actually relate to old wounds, rather than the person in front of you; to then work on healing and integrating these by doing the shadow work in order to become the most authentic version of yourself, one who is at peace and doesn't get triggered by the inane; you will never have deep authentic, joyful relationships, either at work, or at home. This is the access door to your own inner peace and joy and your power as a leader.
Why Emotional Intelligence is Critical
Roles such as Product managers stand at the crossroads of many teams; engineering, design, marketing, and sales, to name a few. This role is inherently people-centric and one of the things that you should be doing pretty much all day, everyday, is fostering and building strong relationships. Spend time getting to know these people as fellow human beings, rather than it be a transactional relationship in order to. If you take the time to strengthen the relationship on common grounds, you will be able to leverage them in the future for common goals. Don't leave it until you need an answer from them, make sure you have a regular 1/1 in the calendar to stay connected. Your role is built on relationships. It will potentially open the door to customers, open the door to deeper analysis, open the door to new opportunities you were not aware of so building relationships are your key to access more than your day to day work. Your ability to manage not just your own emotions but also to navigate the emotions of your stakeholders can determine the success or failure of your products. Here are some examples of how emotional intelligence comes into play:
- Self-Awareness in Prioritization: Product managers make tough decisions, often under pressure. Self-awareness helps you understand your biases and emotional triggers, ensuring that decisions are made based on product and business needs, rather than emotional impulses. It also allows you to read the room; especially if the wrong decision might get made; if you are tapped into those emotions you will be able to pick up what shifts and address it straight away.
- Self-Management in High-Stakes Moments: Managing conflicting priorities and tight deadlines is part of the job. Emotional intelligence allows you to stay calm, level-headed, and solution-focused, even when the pressure mounts. Keeping calm and rational during conflict and tight deadlines will leave you with a good reputation of being level headed.
- Social Awareness in Stakeholder Communication: Understanding the concerns and emotions of your stakeholders; be it users, engineers, or executives, enables you to communicate in ways that build trust and align everyone toward common goals. If you have strong stakeholder relationships you should already understand all their key problems and needs and their key priorities as compared to other stakeholders; helping you to navigate through these easily and keep them informed frequently through various channels.
- Relationship Management in Cross-Functional Teams: Conflict is inevitable when collaborating across teams. Strong relationship management skills help you navigate disagreements constructively, finding solutions that strengthen relationships rather than damage them. Being able to navigate you and your team through conflict requires managing and addressing everyone's emotions and needs until you get to a win win for all.
The Leader’s Role in Cultivating Emotional Intelligence
Leaders set the emotional tone for their teams. If you're a leader, your ability to model emotional intelligence can influence the culture of your entire organization. How you go, the team goes. If you are a toxic leader that micromanages, is not aware of their own biases, treats certain people with favouritism, or is completely laissez faire and hands off; you will have a negative impact. Each leader has a leadership shadow that follows them and will impact other people. If you are a role model that models the organisation's values and has high EQ, people will be more likely to follow you and lean in. If you are a toxic role model and have low IQ, you will see a high turnover, negativity and gossip exist, with performance declining. It is all about who YOU want to be as a leader. Leaders with high EQ are able to:
- Inspire trust: People naturally gravitate toward leaders who are self-aware and who show empathy. When your team trusts you, they are more likely to be open, honest, and collaborative.
- Handle conflict constructively: Instead of avoiding conflict or allowing emotions to fester, emotionally intelligent leaders address issues head-on with empathy, fostering stronger relationships in the long run.
- Promote a growth mindset: By creating an emotionally safe environment where feedback is constructive, teams are more likely to embrace learning and personal development.
- Inspire performance: By role modeling the values of the organisation and being connected through strong relationships, you can inspire motivation through vision and unblock barriers through empathic coaching rather than micromanaging.
Connecting EQ to the Personal Journey of Growth
On a deeper level, emotional intelligence is not just about managing professional relationships; it's part of the personal journey of growth. As human beings, we are constantly evolving, and our professional lives can be a powerful arena for this growth. It is a mirror, for you to see yourself reflected back at you in order to take that opportunity as a moment of self reflection about the part you played in any one moment of time, be it a conflict, be it leading a team, or anything else. It is a flashlight shining the light into the dark corners of self, in order for you to see your shadow. It is only when you can see your WORST self with pure self acceptance, without making yourself wrong, without judgement or criticism, can you then integrate it and strive to be a better self; but to do that, you have to SEE your objective shadow self. Once you have done that, you will find that life just doesn't trigger you anymore, work, people, none of it triggers you. That takes a lot of self reflection and owning your part of any interaction, rather than blaming others for what was said or done.
As we work on our emotional intelligence, we not only enhance our effectiveness as leaders but also cultivate a sense of shared humanity. In professional environments, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that we are all human beings with emotions, vulnerabilities, and aspirations. Emotional intelligence brings us back to that truth, allowing us to lead with empathy, authenticity, and integrity.
Emotional intelligence is an indispensable trait for all roles, including those like product managers and leaders. By becoming more emotionally aware, we can respond thoughtfully to others, foster collaboration, and build meaningful relationships that extend beyond professional personas. In a world where success is often measured by metrics and KPIs, it’s important to remember that the emotional connections we cultivate with others and ourselves are just as valuable. After all, leadership isn’t just about managing products or teams; it’s about becoming a better human being, every day.
In today’s complex organizational landscape, building strong cross-functional stakeholder relationships is not just a skill, it’s a practice you have to continually work on; you have to make the effort to get into and understand their world. Effective collaboration between product teams and stakeholders requires more than just aligning on timelines and deliverables. It calls for deep, meaningful connections rooted in authenticity, integrity, respect, and a shared understanding of each other’s needs, steeped in the ability to debate and align around strategic goals!
Just as meditation practices require intention and mindfulness, fostering genuine stakeholder collaboration demands that we look beyond surface-level interactions. It’s about cultivating meaningful, human relationships that go beyond transactions and hence become transformative; helping teams and individuals co-create something greater than themselves. It means investing time in those relationships regularly, rather than when something is needed.
The Foundation: Authenticity, Integrity, and Respect
At the heart of any strong relationship is authenticity. Authenticity fosters trust, and trust is the foundation upon which effective collaboration is built. When we show up as our true selves, transparent and honest in our intentions, others are more likely to respond in kind. This authenticity creates a space where stakeholders feel comfortable sharing their perspectives and concerns, leading to a richer dialogue and a more collaborative environment. While, at Netflix, we shared our visions, direction, strategic goals & decisions, plus we worked to identify and share problems we were dealing with, as did our stakeholders. For us, a stakeholder was both internal and external and the focus was to build good relationships where you can lean into each other to solve common problems; pushing on the innovation boundaries continually.
Integrity is multifaceted and means keeping promises, honouring the words you speak and living a life where there is alignment between our words and actions. Integrity is essential in building great relationships with stakeholders, where commitments and accountability matter. When we act with integrity, we show others that we are dependable and trustworthy, strengthening the connection between teams and stakeholders. When stakeholders believe that a team or individual will consistently deliver on promises, they are more likely to support and advocate for that team’s success and align with direction. This takes time to build, so investing the time you have in those relationships is critical.
Respect is another critical element. In cross-functional collaboration, stakeholders come from various backgrounds, roles, and departments. Their priorities, expertise, and goals may differ, but respecting each other’s contributions is key to fostering collaboration. Always assume they come with best intentions, given their view of the world. NO one is out to make your life difficult. Respect allows for diverse perspectives to be heard and acknowledged, which not only enriches decision-making but also strengthens the bond between teams.
The Art of Understanding Each Other’s Needs
Understanding the needs of your stakeholders is a powerful way to build meaningful relationships. In any collaboration, it’s essential to ask yourself: What are their goals? What challenges are they facing? How can I support them in achieving success? What constraints are they facing? What data are they looking at, to get to that conclusion? Is there any data they might be missing? Would they like to be involved?
This approach requires active listening, empathy, and curiosity. It goes beyond assuming we know what our stakeholders want and our opinions about them; and involves taking the time to genuinely understand their priorities, motivations, and concerns. By putting ourselves in their shoes, we can tailor our communication and collaboration to better meet their needs, which in turn fosters greater trust and partnership.
When teams and stakeholders are aligned on their goals and deeply understand each other’s priorities, collaboration flows, rather than being an uphill battle. It’s no longer about pushing an agenda or managing competing interests—it’s about co-creating solutions that benefit all parties. It is a type of discovery in and of itself; discovery of potential shared goals!
The Power of Shared Goals and Alignment
Shared goals are the glue that holds cross-functional stakeholder relationships together. When both teams and stakeholders are clear about their common objectives, they can collaborate more effectively toward a shared outcome. Alignment ensures that everyone is heading in the same direction and that decisions are made in the best interest of that strategic goal. Invest time in debating strategy, rather than figuring out tactics; tactics will figure themselves out once you align on strategy. It all starts with aligned strategic goals. I remember sitting down with one internal stakeholder and both of us writing a list of all the things that each others teams saw as problems. We then sat down and prioritised these and worked together to figure out how to solve them. This opened the door for collaboration between the language managers and program managers on the big movies and series, in terms of potential context & hence quality issues where prior this collaboration was missing. True partnerships and involvement started to open up ONLY when we were willing to learn about each others needs and blockers.
By creating this shared sense of purpose, teams can move from transactional exchanges to transformational partnerships. When everyone is committed to the same goal, collaboration becomes a natural process of co-creation rather than a forced alignment of different agendas.
Integrity in Action: Delivering on Commitments
At the core of strong stakeholder relationships is the ability to follow through on commitments. Integrity means not just saying the right things but doing the right things. Stakeholders want to know that when they work with your team, there is accountability and trust. I would suggest considering communication channels & tactics such as a website, sharepoint page, or confluence page, where all transactional information is uploaded so that ANYONE can come at anytime to check roadmaps, priorities, decisions, risks, etc. That way it gets these things of your slack, inbox and having to reply. This is low level tactical stuff you shouldn't be worrying about, so the more accessible your information is through various communication channels; the more time you will have to focus on the big strategic stuff.
When commitments are consistently met, relationships deepen. When they are missed, especially without transparency, trust erodes. By keeping stakeholders informed, addressing challenges openly, and delivering on promises, teams build a reputation for reliability and trustworthiness.
Collaboration as a Practice
Collaboration can be seen as a practice, one that emphasizes deep connections, intentionality, and mindfulness. Just as meditation practices require reflection and self-awareness, effective cross-functional relationships demand that we continually check in with ourselves and our stakeholders. Are we showing up authentically? Are we honoring our commitments with integrity? Are we fostering an environment of mutual respect and trust? Are we aligned? Are we reliable? Do we deliver?
By approaching collaboration with this sort of mindset, we elevate our relationships to a new level of depth and meaning. This allows us to transcend individual roles and agendas, creating a shared space where true partnership and co-creation can flourish.
Building strong cross-functional stakeholder relationships is not just about following processes or checking boxes. It’s about cultivating deep, meaningful connections that are grounded in authenticity, integrity, and respect. By understanding each other’s needs and aligning around shared goals, we can create collaborative partnerships that are truly transformative.
Whether you're working with stakeholders inside or outside your organization, reflect on how you can show up more authentically, act with greater integrity, and create stronger alignment. In doing so, you’ll foster relationships that not only drive success but also elevate the human connection at the heart of every collaboration.
At the core of human existence is the deep-rooted need for community. As social beings, we thrive when we are connected with others—sharing ideas, supporting one another, and working towards common goals. This sense of community isn’t just beneficial for our personal lives; it plays a crucial role in maintaining our mental health and overall well-being. In fact, research consistently shows that strong social connections lead to lower levels of anxiety and depression, higher self-esteem, and greater empathy.
There was an experiment that was run in the 1970's called the "Rat Park" experiment, led by Canadian psychologist Bruce K. Alexander, which sought to investigate the underlying factors of addiction. Dr. Alexander and his team questioned the prevailing belief that addiction was caused solely by exposure to addictive substances. To explore this, they created two distinct environments for their test subjects, a group of rats, to see how social and environmental factors influenced drug use.
In the experiment, one group of rats was kept in small, isolated cages with nothing to stimulate them except food, water, and a bottle containing morphine-laced water (similar to heroin). These isolated rats quickly became heavy users of the drug-laced water, exhibiting signs of dependence and addiction.
The other group of rats, however, was placed in a more enriched environment known as "Rat Park." This large, spacious environment was filled with colorful toys, tunnels, ample food, and other rats to interact and socialize with. In Rat Park, the rats not only engaged with one another but also had plenty of activities and stimulation to enjoy, leading to a stark contrast in behavior compared to the isolated rats.
The results were striking. While the isolated rats heavily consumed the morphine-laced water, the rats in Rat Park largely ignored it, choosing instead to explore their environment and socialize. Even rats that had been previously exposed to morphine stopped using it when moved to Rat Park, suggesting that the enriched environment diminished their desire for the drug. Dr. Alexander’s findings highlighted the profound role of environment and social connection in addiction, challenging the notion that addiction is solely driven by the addictive properties of substances themselves. This study has since shaped modern approaches to addiction treatment, underscoring the importance of social support, connection, and purposeful engagement in recovery and overall mental health.
When we belong to a supportive community, when we are connected; we feel valued and heard, which in turn fosters a deeper sense of purpose. It’s no different in the professional world, where collaboration plays the role of community-building within teams. Collaboration is the glue that holds teams together, fostering a sense of belonging and shared purpose that not only drives team health but also promotes the mental health of its individual members. When teams work together with transparency and open communication, they create a space where trust and creativity flourish, much like the communities we build in our personal lives.
Just as communities support individuals in overcoming personal challenges, collaboration supports teams in navigating the complexities of product development. By leveraging collective strengths and diverse perspectives, teams can achieve far more than they could in isolation. However building this collaborative “community” in product teams is not always easy and it requires commitment and focus. At Netflix, a big part of our day to day was about collaboration. If you weren't collaborative, you would hear about it through feedback and you would either immediately course correct, or you would not be at Netflix for very long. It was the very essence of the place; to get over there with other teams and understand their problems and ways of working and then to debate strategically about how solve those problems together. So let’s dive deeper into the concept of community-building and how it aligns with product team collaboration, why it’s essential for team health, and what blocks us from achieving it.
The Importance of Collaboration in Product Teams
Collaboration is more than just teamwork; it’s the process of building a shared sense of purpose and ownership. Obviously, it starts with having a shared vision, but It’s more about creating a culture where everyone feels heard, valued, and motivated to contribute to the vision It's about aligning for the sake of the team, rather than for your particular opinion. It's about understanding, debating and listening to each other's perspective so that you all find the best path forward together. When product teams work collaboratively, they build the kind of community and partnership that fosters creativity, resilience, and innovation. Collaboration is essential for the health of product teams and the products they build because it leads to:
Common Blockers to Collaboration
However, just as in real-life, obstacles and personalities can get in the way of collaboration in product teams. These blockers prevent teams from working together effectively and can damage the community spirit, which is essential for both team health and product success. The industry has moved drastically in the last 5-10 years and these common blockers are residues of old ways of working, or cultures that are stuck in the past and have no insight into what a modern product way of working is. Some of the most common blockers to collaboration are:
- Product Manager Decides
Collaboration breaks down when the product manager (PM) takes control of all decisions without consulting the team. In essence the PM is still acting as "CEO" of the product. These days are gone and they are gone because we know this doesn't work. This approach leans into one person's bias and opinion without debate and validation. While the PM plays a crucial role in understanding customer needs, ignoring the input of engineers and designers limits the team’s collective wisdom. In fact, the PM is now the facilitator of debate; they should lead the team in debate around strategy, debate around discovery and then, once they have HEARD all the perspectives and sifted through the data, they can call the final decision if there is not alignment in the room. They act as facilitator of debate and captain of final decisions around product direction. - Engineer Makes the Decisions
Sometimes, engineers may dominate the decision-making process, especially when technical challenges arise or if they are in an organisation that is engineering led. This can lead to an imbalance where strategy, customer experience and design are overlooked in favor of technical solutions. Instead the engineer should lean into collaboration and be involved in strategy & discovery; listening and participating in these conversations to then be able to shape the technical/feasibility direction. It all starts with strategy and that then shapes your team, your systems, your discovery, etc. - Engineers Don’t Participate
On the flip side, engineers may be too focused on execution and aren’t brought into discussions early enough. In this case, they are order takers, waiting to be told what features to implement. Nothing strategic about this sort of role at all. This can cause a disconnect between what’s being built and what’s feasible from a technical standpoint. Engineers should be involved upstream from the very beginning; particularly lead engineers as it all starts with strategy. - Designer Doesn’t Participate
Designers stretched too thin across multiple teams or lacking context may not provide input during key moments. This can lead to design becoming an afterthought rather than an integral part of product strategy. Again, they are put into an order taking role and only focus on the delivery of design assets. They are missing context and you will find that more often than not, you will have to go through multiple iterations because of the missing context. They should be involved in strategy from the get go as this is the context they need to determine what actions to take and where to focus user research. - Stakeholders Dictate Solutions
When executives or stakeholders impose top-down solutions, it stifles the collaborative decision-making process. Teams lose the opportunity to explore innovative ideas and develop solutions that work across disciplines. This is a classic feature factory situation and we know there is high wastage in this model and high tech debt. Again and again studies show that 80% of all features released in this model don't get used or are rarely touched and that is due to leaning into someone's opinion, rather than going through discovery and validation to confirm whether it delivers value or not. Instead lean into collaboration on Vision & Strategy, then leading into discovery WITH your stakeholders. Invite them along so that they can see the value of this approach. If you have difficult stakeholders, bring them into a design sprint and have their ideas be represented, along with others so you can test and collect data about which actually delivers value. - Different Levels of Experience
Teams with varying levels of experience can experience power imbalances, with more seasoned members dominating discussions and newer team members feeling sidelined. This erodes trust and stifles contributions. At the very least, the PM should act as that moderator, making sure that everything is understood by everyone; that explanations are given and opportunities opened for people to either contribute, ask more questions, learn as they go, or express their thoughts especially if they feel they don't know enough but want to contribute; never sideline anyone! - No One Can Agree
When teams struggle to reach consensus, they can get stuck, causing delays or suboptimal compromises that don’t serve the product’s best interests. They get stuck because they are seeking consensus (100% agreement) rather than working towards consent (majority/captain decision after debate). Ultimately the captain of the decision should call it, when they have listened to everything. Now the captain might move with the decision; so if it is a design decision than the lead designer calls it, if it is a product direction decision, then the PM calls it. You should aim for consent not consensus. - Some People Don’t Speak Up
Introverted or remote team members might hesitate to share their ideas, which limits the diversity of perspectives in decision-making. At the very least, the PM should act as that moderator, ASKING for everyone's opinion, ensuring the introverts get their moment to express their thoughts. After asking a question, make sure to count to 15 seconds to allow time for people to process their thoughts so that they can respond, or ask particular people their thoughts if they have been quiet. Often gold drops out of introverts mouths and you want to make sure you capture this. - One Person Dominates
A strong personality can overshadow the input of others, creating an unbalanced dynamic that prevents the team from exploring all potential solutions. Personally I would lean into feedback in this situation, using a framework like SBI (scenario, behaviour & impact). Remember with feedback, always do it in a private 1/1 situation. Often people don't see their behaviour from an objective view, or something else might be going on, so come at this with beginner's mind and lean into being curious as to why they are this way; then share the impact on the team so they can get present to that. - Lack of Time
Tight deadlines often cause teams to prioritize execution over collaboration. This rush to deliver compromises the quality of discussions and the product itself. Sometimes in some situations, like disaster preparedness, it's essential the captain has to call it and often that is the product lead; you have to set a direction to get people moving fast. In other situations, you might have a deadline, collaboration is key to align and identify the best path forward in high pressure stakes; lean in rather than leaning towards an autocratic path. Remember, always analyse the situation first before thinking about your approach. - Newly Formed Teams
New teams often lack the trust and established communication norms necessary for effective collaboration. This can lead to misunderstandings and a lack of cohesion. Take the time to build relationships first, go for coffee, lunch and get to know each other as human beings. From this the work will seal the deal. Focus on trust exercises; both vulnerability based trust and operational trust and establish some agreements. - Focus on Technical Debt
Teams overly focused on technical debt may lose sight of broader product goals, sacrificing long-term strategy for short-term fixes. You will lose market and customer share by ONLY focusing here; you need to stay on top of the industry, market & customer trends and opportunities, constantly delivering value, while also attending to your tech debt. Never LEAVE tech debt as that will make for an unstable product that will not survive in the long run, but be strategic about when tech debt is ok to be carried over, vs when it is important to resolve. Have continual conversations about it and prioritise the work but not over your strategic work.
Overcoming Collaboration Blockers: Building a Healthy Team Community
The key to overcoming these blockers is to create a collaborative environment that mimics the sense of community we seek in our personal lives. Here’s how product teams can foster collaboration and build a strong, resilient community:
- Balanced Decision-Making: Ensure that decisions aren’t monopolized by any one role, whether it’s the PM, engineer, or stakeholder. Foster a culture where input from all perspectives is valued and the decision-making process is transparent and inclusive. Debate together, work together, make decisions together, keep each other informed and partner continually. The more you lean into team decision making, the better the collaboration and trust.
- Early and Frequent Involvement: Collaboration is most effective when everyone is involved from the start. Bring engineers, designers, and stakeholders into discussions early and maintain regular check-ins to ensure continuous collaboration throughout the product lifecycle. This context is critical as the context GIVES YOU content, or your actions, if you are missing context (eg strategy) then you will more than likely take poor actions or make poor decisions. Context is everything so share early and share often and keep each other informed.
- Clear Roles and Expectations: For new teams, take the time to define roles and responsibilities. Clear communication about who does what helps build trust and ensures smooth execution. Establish team agreements based on values defined as behaviours. Be explicit about what you expect from each other; do a roles and responsibilities analysis. This is where you establish operational trust.
- Cultivating Psychological Safety: Build a safe space where team members feel comfortable sharing their ideas and opinions. Actively encourage quieter voices to contribute, and make sure no one dominates the conversation. Leaders play a crucial role in fostering this environment by modeling inclusive behavior. Remember psychological safety is comprised of two types of trust; vulnerability based trust and operational based trust; or your agreements.
- Prioritize Time for Collaboration: Even under tight deadlines, carve out space for meaningful discussions. Time-boxed meetings or asynchronous tools can help ensure that all perspectives are heard without delaying progress. Plus don't forget to include some room for social interactions; coffee, lunch, etc by getting to know each other as human beings first, this opens the door to better relationships and more vulnerability based trust in place. Remember, you are a WHOLE human being with an inner life and a professional life; you cannot do one without bringing the other, so leverage this.
Final Thoughts: Collaboration as Community
Just as a strong personal community provides emotional and mental health benefits, collaborative product teams foster an environment where team members thrive. When people feel connected, heard, and valued, they are more likely to contribute their best ideas and work effectively towards a common goal. Collaboration is not just about working together to build a product—it’s about building a team community that supports both product and personal growth. By recognizing and addressing the blockers that hinder collaboration, product teams can create healthier, more innovative, and more aligned outcomes that not only benefit the business but also elevate the well-being and satisfaction of every team member.
Ultimately, collaboration is about building a space where everyone’s contributions matter, leading to healthier teams and stronger products. Let’s strive to build both the products and communities we’re proud of, by being human beings we're proud of!!
Influence is what you have, when you walk into a room and say nothing at all!
In leadership, there is a quiet force more powerful than control; it's the ability to influence without authority. True influence doesn’t rely on titles, roles, or direct power over others. It emanates from your own personal energy, the vibration you carry, the connection you foster within you to that source and hence the connection with others. When you walk into a room, your presence speaks volumes before you even open your mouth. This is personal power, something that cannot be taken or given; it must be cultivated. At the core of this influence lies shadow integration, a journey to achieving peace with yourself where there’s nothing to “fix” and you stand whole and complete.
The Spiritual Foundation: Energy and Vibration
At the heart of spiritual and energetic influence is the understanding that everything in the universe is energy; including us. Our thoughts, emotions, and actions all carry a vibrational frequency. In leadership, it is the same, this vibration is felt by those around us, consciously or subconsciously as you go through your work day
Dr. David R. Hawkins, in his book Power vs. Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior, explores the difference between true power, which emanates from within and aligns with truth and integrity, versus force, which relies on external control and authority. Hawkins introduces a scale of consciousness that maps human emotions, motivations, and behaviors, showing how one can rise to higher states of awareness, fulfillment, and peace. This scale, measured in megahertz, gives insight into the energetic frequency behind each level of human emotion, from fear to love, and ultimately enlightenment. As a leader, when you do the internal shadow work and operate from higher-level emotions like joy and peace, the impact you have on others is profound, creating an atmosphere of growth and well-being. Leaders who operate from lower emotions like fear and anger tend to evoke stress and conflict. Awareness of these states and understanding where you are on this scale is crucial to evolving your influence.
High-vibrational, or anabolic energy, aligns with qualities like authenticity, compassion, love, vision, and empowerment. This is often described as “uplifting, building energy” because it is creative and empowering. It’s the energy that fuels impactful leaders who uplift and inspire those around them. Think about those times you spent with someone and walked away feeling energized and uplifted—this is the effect of anabolic energy. Conversely, low-vibrational or catabolic energy is driven by fear, anger, and victimhood, creating tension and draining those in the room.
Anabolic leaders operate with a focus on long-term outcomes and collective well-being. Their influence doesn’t depend on what they say but rather on who they are being. People are drawn to these leaders, feeling empowered and motivated to participate in something bigger than themselves. This authentic influence naturally follows from the inner work they have done, aligning with their core values, belief in self and higher purpose.
In coaching, there is an assessment known as the ELI, which has come from iPEC, with years of data supporting the model. The premise is that there are 7 levels of leadership you can operate from, see image below. Now, as you do more inner work and integrate that shadow, finding joy and peace, you actually move up through the leadership scale too, becoming more of a transformational leader, who is that visionary, who sees unity and is incredibly creative, who doesn't get triggered and sees the value in everything and everyone. It is always a win win. It does take the inner work to operate from that level most of the time.
Anabolic Energy: Constructive Influence
Anabolic energy is about building, expanding, and creating win-win solutions. Leaders or individuals who harness this energy stretch from creative visionaries to rationalists, and everything in between, as per the image above there are 5 levels of energy leadership in the anabolic energy group. They are focused on long-term outcomes and the collective good where everyone wins. They see the bigger picture, guiding their teams with clarity and optimism. They influence not by what they say, but by who they are BEING and how they show up. People are drawn to them because they feel energized, empowered, and part of something bigger than themselves. They cultivate this because they have done the internal work and it emanates from them.
These leaders don’t need to push or control others because their vision and enthusiasm create a natural pull. Their influence comes from their authenticity and their ability to maintain alignment with their core values and higher purpose.
Catabolic Energy: Destructive Influence
On the other side, catabolic energy is driven by fear, control, and anger. Leaders or individuals operating from this space may use tactics of manipulation, coercion, or blame to get results. It is always someone else's fault, not their own fault, lack of action, or inabilities. This type of energy can temporarily motivate people through coercion, but it comes at a high cost; burnout, disengagement, and a toxic work environment. There are two types of energy leadership in the catabolic group.
Catabolic energy is often reactive. A leader caught in this energy might feel like a victim of circumstances, or believe that force and control are the only ways to achieve goals. While this type of influence can produce short-term results, it’s destructive in the long term, eroding trust, morale, and even the leader’s own sense of fulfillment.
So which group are you usually in? If you are really curious ask me about the energy leadership assessment that you can take, that will give you a report on your exact mix of the above & levels and which two are your primary and secondary modes of leadership in both day to day situations and in stressful situations; when, you know, reasoning goes out the window!
In contrast, catabolic energy is driven by fear, control, and anger. Leaders who operate from this energy use manipulation, coercion, or blame to achieve their goals. Catabolic leaders often feel that force and control are the only ways to succeed, and their influence may bring short-term results but at the cost of long-term well-being, morale, and trust. Catabolic energy erodes relationships, leading to burnout, resistance, and a toxic work environment. A leader caught in this energy might feel like a victim of circumstances, and looks to control information, hoard it, rather than share early and share often. A key distinction here is that catabolic energy is reactive—fueled by insecurity or fear. Leaders in this space may constantly feel under threat and rely on force, rather than connection, to steer their teams. This constant defensiveness stifles creativity and breeds a culture where self-preservation overshadows collaboration.
Influence vs. Persuasion
Understanding the difference between influence and persuasion is crucial for leaders who wish to lead without authority.
Influence is the lasting impression you leave on people through your energy, actions, and the example you set. It is subtle and often happens unconsciously. You influence others by embodying the principles and values you wish to see in them. This is an inside-out approach, where your inner state directly impacts your outer relationships and results. Influence is what you have when you walk into a room and say nothing at all! It motivates & aligns people towards something, without any effort. It’s Passive. Below are the 6 elements of influence that you may or may or not have:
Persuasion on the other hand, is about tactics. It involves consciously shaping others’ beliefs or actions through specific arguments, reasoning, or appeals. Persuasion is often necessary in leadership when you need to align stakeholders, gain buy-in, or present ideas. Persuasion without influence can feel transactional without the deeper connection that influence creates. Persuasion tactics can be used to spur someone to action, or to make a decision without actually earning their sincere buy-in. It’s active! Below are some of the persuasion tactics you can utilise to gain buy in:
Think of influence as the steady undercurrent of leadership, while persuasion is the tool you use to guide and direct. When the two are combined with anabolic energy in your way of BEING, you become a powerful leader who not only drives results but does so in a way that leaves people feeling respected and engaged.
Leaning Into Anabolic Energy to Influence
As a leader, you have the ability to choose the energy you bring to each situation! To lead without authority, it’s essential to recognize and shift away from catabolic energy and lean into anabolic energy. This requires self-awareness and the ability to manage your own emotional and mental state. To integrate your shadow so you don't get triggered, to see the possibilities everywhere, regardless of the blockers and circumstances. This is part of your attitude, which will then help you build strong relationships, where context is exchanged freely and resources are shared. Inside of that you build your own credibility and expertise; eventually leading to opportunities where you might have positions of authority, or at the very least, leadership presence and gravitas.
Below are a few ways to cultivate anabolic energy in your leadership:
- Ground Yourself in a Vision - Leaders who operate from anabolic energy are clear on their vision and purpose. They know what they stand for and are committed to serving something greater than themselves. When you are grounded in a clear vision, it creates a natural influence because others can sense your direction and confidence.
- Lead with Empathy - Empathy is a hallmark of anabolic energy. By deeply understanding the needs, motivations, and challenges of those around you, you can connect on a human level. This builds trust and fosters a sense of collaboration, making it easier to influence without resorting to authority or control.
- Embody the Change You Wish to See - Influence starts from within. If you want others to adopt a certain mindset or behavior, you must model it consistently. When your actions are in alignment with your words, and when you are authentic in your leadership, people are naturally drawn to follow.
- Choose Win-Win Solutions - Catabolic energy sees the world through a lens of scarcity and competition—there’s a winner and a loser. Anabolic energy, however, looks for win-win solutions, where everyone can benefit. In leadership, this means creating environments where people feel valued and heard, which builds loyalty and trust.
- Maintain High Vibration - Maintaining a high vibration means regularly checking in with your own energy. Are you approaching situations with a mindset of abundance, love, and possibility? Practices like meditation, mindfulness, and gratitude can help you stay in anabolic energy, even in challenging situations.
- Always assume Best Intent - Everyone comes at their job with best intentions, given what they know about the job and the context around them. They never intentionally go out of their way to make your day miserable. More often than not they are missing context and usually that context has to come from those above them. The more context (information, decisions, directions, etc) the better the decision making will be on your team and with individuals.
- Do the Shadow Work - Identify your GRAILS (Gremlins, Rigid Rules, Assumptions, Interpretations, Limiting Beliefs, Stories) and Cognitive Distortions and work on them, unpacking them enough to realise they have no validity; most are ancestral patterns & behaviours you inherited when young and you never questioned them. Or they happened in a moment of trauma; that trauma being on a scale of experience. Start pushing on your own thinking & boundaries and testing the validity of these thoughts; this is your biggest gift to yourself and to the relationships around you; that you can give. So get in there!!!
The Silent Power of Energetic Influence
Ultimately, leadership without authority is about mastering your own energy and using it to influence others in a constructive, compassionate way. When you cultivate personal power through high-vibration, anabolic energy, you become a leader people want to follow—not because they have to, but because they are inspired to. This kind of influence transcends tactics, transcends roles, and taps into the deeper, spiritual connection we all share.
By leading with energetic influence, you are not just getting things done—you are elevating everyone around you, creating a ripple effect that goes far beyond the immediate tasks or outcomes. You are influencing from the inside out, guiding with purpose, and making a lasting impact on the people and the world around you.
